sam kinison - jesus the miracle caterer lyrics
ah, jesus had it tough. people took advantage of him. they found out he could do miracles and do wonders, you know. so he’d be like healing the blind and healing lepers and sh+t. five thousand people would show up with no f+ckin’ food. they weren’t sick, they didn’t need a healing. they were to f+ckin’ lazy to make a f+ckin’ sandwich for the day. “i know, let’s let jesus get it!”
he’s trying to preach, he’s trying to share all this information, they go, “what, what? what, five thousand of you and none of you brought a sandwich? i guess you expect me to get it, huh?! that’s no pressure, i’ll just f+ckin’ create food out of the f+ckin’ air! thanks!”
“well, you said you were the son of god.”
you know, he’s like, “i don’t think you’re getting the f+ckin’ point here, you f+ckin’ jerks! i didn’t come to be jesus the miracle caterer!”
ah, he had a tough gig. he had a f+ckin’ tough gig. they could have taken him off the cross, he could have went up to greece where they respected teachers. where they enshrine philosophers. he could have been one of the great world masters. but no, he had to stay in jerusalem
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