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sam kinison - rubber love lyrics

safe s+x… god d+mn these f+cking b+st+rds. get off of our back!

because a few f+gs f+cked some monkeys…
they got so bored, their own assh0l+s weren’t enough
they had to go in the f+cking jungle, grab some f+cking monkey and f+ck him in the ass…
and bring us back the black plague of the f+cking 80s. thanks, guys!

because of this sh+t, they want us to wear f+cking rubbers
man, why don’t just turn back the hands of time…

wear rubbers, man, these f+cking pr+cks. who the f…
do we like to wear rubbers, guys?

[male audience members]
no!

[sam kinison]
we hate rubbers! we f+cking hate ’em!

they’re a pain in the ass, they’re unromantic!
they’re so f+cking unromantic. they take the romance out of s+x, i’m telling you
it’s just… oh jesus, you know… it’s just+ it’s sad
it’s gross, it’s a pain in the ass. you know?
your d+ck doesn’t understand what the f+ck is going on
it’s like, “what are we doing, robbing a f+cking bank? what’s the ski mask about, boss, huh? what, is she that ugly? are we f+cking a guy? what’s going on here? [???] i thought she wanted me to see, boss. what are you doing? hey!”
yeah, the d+ck’s totally thrown off, y’know
and women don’t understand you have to maintain an erection… while you put this f+cking balloon over the head of your f+cking d+ck. that’s a lot of fun
“nothing keeps me stiffer than… come here, get in there…”
they’re a pain in the f+cking ass

oh, you know what they remind me of?
they remind me of, like, you feel like you just ate a kentucky fried chicken snack pack. you know?
it’s like that little, the little wet nap they have in there that you pull out…
same mental image, you know? f+ck that sh+t…

first of all, if you don’t trust the p+ssy, why are you f+cking the p+ssy?
what are you trying to prove?
sh+t, man…
i guess some guys just don’t care, “i don’t care, but i gotta have it! [roars]”

i don’t think you should f+ck unless you’re really in love, you know?
it may be for a very short f+cking time
doesn’t mean it’s gonna last a lifetime, but uh…
you know? it just makes it more special, doesn’t it?
i know people freak, like, “what are you saying, don’t wear rubbers? what are you saying?”

i know people freak, “aren’t you afraid of aids? aren’t you afraid of it?
it’s a communicable disease. heteros+xuals die of it too!”
name one!
name one f+cking het+

yeah, they’re just dropping like flies, aren’t they?
yes, any day now, oh oh oh…
it’s not our dance, alright?
f+ck you. it’s not our f+cking dance. you know…

they don’t look like they’re having that much fun to me
especially now, but you never see these g+y guys going
“oh god, uhh… i don’t miss p+ssy very much… oh, god, ugh ugh…
this is almost as much fun! oh yeah, this’ll do, oh yeah…”

yeah, ok, whatever you say…

- sam kinison lyrics

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