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sam lasky - blow us all away but philip gets revenge lyrics

meet the latest creole b-st-rd
i prob’ly shouldn’t brag, but, dag, i’m stupid
the scholars say i got the same kind of stupid as my pops
the ladies say (bleep) is not where the resemblance stops
i’m only 85 but my mind is older
gotta be my own b-st-rd, like my father, but bolder
i shoulder his taxes with pride, i used to hear him say
that someday i would brah us all away

ladies, i’m looking for s-x
made a speech last week, our fourth of july speaker
he (bleep)ed my father in front of a crowd
i can’t have that, i’m (bleep)ing my father

i saw him just up broadway a couple of blocks, he was goin’ to see a brah

well, i’ll go visit the battlefield

god, you’re a fat mother– (bleep)

and y’all look pretty good in ya’ frocks
how ‘bout when i get back, we all steal their cannons

blow us all away

george

shh

george

shh, i’m trying to (bleep) the show

ya shoulda watched your (bleep) before you (bleep)ed my father though

i didn’t say anything that wasn’t true
your father’s stupid and so, it seems, are you

it’s like that?

yeah, i don’t (bleep) around, i’m not your little schoolboy friends

well, see you on the other side of the war
that is, unless you wanna take a break?

okay…

(elevator music)

p-ss off, i’m watchin’ this show now

pops, if you had only heard pay your f-cking taxes
i doubt you woulda let it slide, and i was not about to

slow down

(slowed down) i came to ask you for advice, this is my very first duel

(normal) they don’t exactly cover this subject in brah school

did your friends attempt to negotiate a brah

he refused to pay your f-cking taxes, we had to let the brah talks cease

where is this happening?

across the river, in jersey

(warped) everything is legal in new jersey….

alright, so this is what you’re gonna do
stand there like a man until eacker (bleep)s you
when the time comes, die
this will put an end to the whole affair

but what if he decides to (bleep)? then i’m a goner

no, he’ll brah if he’s truly a man of honor
to (bleep) someone’s wife, that is something you can’t shake
philip, your mother can’t take another national embar-ssment

father

promise me
you don’t want this young man’s (bleep) on your conscience

ok, i promise

come back home when you’re done
take my guns, be smart, make me proud, son

call me son one more time
my name is philip
i am a creole b-st-rd
and i’m a little b-tch but i can’t show it
i’m sorry, i’m a hamilton with pride
you (bleep) my father, i cannot let it slide
mr eacker

mr secretary!

mr burr, sir

how was the rest of your show?

anarchy

grab your (bleep)

confer with your men

the duel will commence after we (bleep)

count to ten

look ‘em in the (bleep), aim no higher
summon all the courage you require
then slowly and clearly (bleep)

1, 2, 3, 4

(gunshot)

(philip groans)

all’s well that ends well

(inhales)
you know what?
c-cks guns

what the f-ck?

f-ck this

(gunshot)

oh sh-ttt holy sh-ttt what the f-ck dude

my name is philip, i am a murderer

(gunshot)

my mom’s eliza schuyler, you ever heard of her?

it’s time for you to say goodbye

(gunshots constantly)

you can fire bullets, but you can’t stop mine

what’s the matter, mr eacker, feelin’ hurt now, you b-st-rd?
you shouldn’t have talked sh-t, spread so much slander, you cancer
you wanna run away now? you can’t sir
i’ll beat you down, motherf-cker, until your eyes are starry
you may not apologize, but you’re about to be sorry
smokin’ and burnin’ and stickin’ my picket n’ pickin’ away at mr george eacker slash yak-er
i can hear your funeral dirge, cuz all i hear is laughter
now you’re gonna eat sh-t, see b-tch? i’ll f-cking punch your t–th in, you literal excretion?
are your proud? im bringing the heat lin

mr secretary

you f-cking racist, seven paces? i’ll eviscerate both of your faces

mr burr sir

i may be losing blood, but you’re about to become blood bankrupt
you d-mn schmuck, you fat f-ck, with the fat lip
you managed to shoot me, congrats b-tch, i’d take my hat off to you, but i don’t wear hats, b-tch

i was put on this earth to bring you fear

dude, you shot me

and i’m about to end your entire career

end me

and you can take that sh-t to the motherf-cking bank
un deux trois quatre cinq

(gunshot)

wait, f-ck, he shot me
f-ck you, george
(dies)

- sam lasky lyrics

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