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san francisco camerata - act ii - scene vi: isabel's atonement lyrics

[isabel]
endless winter, relentless rain
sixteen years of rain!
it was raining, juan
the day when you died
that fateful day
when my life changed forever
the heavens turned dark and wept with me
and they haven’t stopped since…

it was raining, juan
when the crowds lined up in congress
to say their final goodbyes to you
and the darkness never left my heart
ah

i never thought i would long for spain
but i see now that life was good there
the big house
the endless stream of guests
our circle of friends
spain was a gilded cage
but, oh, how i miss it now!
how i miss it!

oh, god! how can i go on?
i know of no love toward me on this earth
no friends, no concern for me, and no respect
not even my enemies have been steadfast
everyone has forgotten me
a presidential pension!
i gave my life away for a presidential pension!
that is all this is left
that is all that is left

i am alone!
no one speaks to me now
and the spirits, my guiding lights in this vast emptiness
have abandoned me too
no more dreams, no more voices
no more hope!

[ministro]
you’re mistaken, sister isabel
i am still with you
after all, i am part of you

[isabel]
you! a part of me?
you misled me and you pushed me
to condone the murder of your foes
and then you abandoned me
at the worst possible time
no part of me could be so wretched!
what could you possibly want from me now?
[ministro]
nothing, sister isabel, nothing…
we all made mistakes and paid for them
i am here to remind you that our cause was just
you believed that too, didn’t you?

i shone a light in your path
the light of divine power
you were fascinated by it, weren’t you?
spellbound…
i just tried to guide you
but you were weak

[isabel]
weak?
i wasn’t weak, i was decent!
i couldn’t stomach it!
all that violence, those senseless deaths
why did i ever listen to you?
perhaps you’re right, i was weak
i should have stopped you!
but i was too weak

[ministro]
power came to you, sister isabel, as a divine gift
others, i know it all too well, wait in vain for it forever
you were chosen, yet you squandered it
you missed your chance
now you torment yourself
but the traitors deserved to die
[isabel]
n0body deserved to die
because of your opinion of them
that is all i’ve learned, sad to say
from my long association with you

[ministro]
we were in power
we should have fought
had you been stronger
we could still be in power today
my mistake was to expect too much of you

[perón]
that was my mistake, too
nature leads from strength, you know
they call it evolution
when eva crossed my path
i did what a leader must do
i imitated nature
i made her play from strength
she was my providential gift
i made her into a great myth
she was a natural!
and she was glorious, glorious!

when isabel came to me
i couldn’t find her strengths
i tried to make her into another eva
how foolish of me!
she was weak
nature can only lead from strength
a weak leader can never survive

[isabel, perón, ministro]
i wanted to serve (power came to her as a divine gift)
i didn’t take it lightly (i tried to make her)
how foolish of me! she was weak (into another eva)
but they pushed me and they used me (we were in power)
did i ever stand a chance (we should have fought)
nature can only (if only she had been stronger)
lead from strength (to save these men)
from their own follies? (we could still be in power today)
a weak leader can never survive
did i stand a chance? (nature)
did i stand a chance (can only lead from strength)
if only she had been stronger
we could still be in power today (just to save these men)
from their own follies? (a weak leader)
can never survive (be in power today)

[isabel]
so i couldn’t cut it!
who cares anymore?
those were impossible times
how can you still be obsessed with power?

[to ministro]
you died alone in jail
and n0body even came to your funeral
power didn’t suit you

[to perón]
oh, juan
how i wanted you to respect me
i worshipped you
and you didn’t suffer well
the indignity of being upstaged by eva
even twenty years after her death
i remember it well, juan
it was so demoralizing
to watch your decline
an old patriarch with a bruised ego
was there ever more to life for you
than just l+sting for power?

but it’s all over now
you are both gone
and again i have to face it all by myself
my only regret are those deaths, all those deaths
it all started with us, juan
i brought in the generals
thirty thousand dreams, thirty thousand broken promises
how will i find peace?

[perón]
chabela, don’t worry anymore
don’t worry anymore
these things have no answers
you did what you could
it was the generals’ fault
there’s no turning back the clock!
we all made mistakes

[isabel]
i can’t help it
so many people…
how did i ever let the generals…
but it’s too late now
nothing i do can change things
and i find no rest

(spoken)
i harbor them in my soul, juan
i carry them with me, every waking hour
and at night, they inhabit my dreams…

[souls of the disappeared]
isabel, isabel, isabel!

[isabel]
ah!
no, i won’t listen!
juan, tell them to go away
i won’t listen!

[souls of the disappeared]
isabel, isabel, isabel!
isabel, isabel, isabel!

(spoken)
how will we find peace while we wander in this endless labyrinth?
who will shepherd us out of darkness and oblivion?
who will atone for the sins of the generals?

[isabel]
it wasn’t my fault
it wasn’t up to me
i didn’t know what they were doing!

[souls of the disappeared]
isabel, isabel, isabel!

(spoken)
who will give our families rest
from their never+ending grief?
who will nurture our orphaned children
and show them the way?
who will bring the guilty to justice
and heal argentina’s open wound?

[isabel]
no! i didn’t do it!
i never agreed
i didn’t know what was yet to come!

[ministro]
perhaps you didn’t want to know
but you agreed
and you knew
isabel, exorcise those ghosts from your life!
you can still choose to be proud of what we did

[souls of the disappeared]
isabel, isabel, isabel!
who will atone for your sins
and bring forgiveness to people’s hearts?
isabel, isabel
who will atone for your sins?
isabel, isabel
isabel, isabel

[isabel]
god, give me peace!
restless, tormented souls
i wish i could give you life once more
and right the wrongs done to you
i carry you in my heart every day of my life
but it’s too late now to beg for forgiveness
for my role in this great injustice
everyone has forgotten me
no one listens to my penance
that will be my burden as long as i live

- san francisco camerata lyrics

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