saturday night live - t.t. and mario's new album lyrics
(spoken)
[chloe fineman]
mm, h+llo
[michael longfellow]
h+llo as well from me
[chloe]
if you’re a central couple like us
you need music that’s gonna get you in the mood
[michael]
the mood for s+e+c+k+s
s+x
[chloe]
and for decades, no duo has been getting people in the mood quite like t.t. and mario
[michael]
back in the ’70s, t.t. and mario gave us classic hits like “royal love”
(sung)
[“royal love”: kenan thompson, maya rudolph, kenan & maya]
you were my princess
and you were the knight that slayed the dragon
come into my castle and bring that booty to your king
wanna do it in the front, front
wanna do it from the back
wanna do it from the si+i+de
wanna do it from the other side
and then sleep
(spoken)
[michael]
t.t. and mario were the soundtrack to our s+xual lives
but now they’re going on almost thirty years of marriage
[chloe]
and i bet they’re sonically exploring the h+ll out of that
[michael]
are you psychic?
’cause, yeah, with songs so real, they’re right
but they might also wrong
[chloe]
that’s confusing
[michael]
songs like “cookin'”
(sung)
[“cookin'”: kenan, maya, kenan & maya]
i spent all day cooking for you
a s+xy home+cooked meal
oh, baby
beef enchiladas, lamb vindaloo and a giant loaf of sourdough
thank you for the delicious food
it really shows you care
but out of respect, let’s hold off on s+x
’cause i’m gonna take a nap on the terlet
we too d+mn full
(spoken)
[chloe]
wow, not s+xy but it sure was relatable
[michael]
if you can relate, you’re going to love t.t. and mario’s new cd, married too long (booty in the rearview)
[chloe]
(laughs) is “booty in the rearview” a fun, s+xy pun?
[michael]
no
let’s listen to this ditty called “booty on time, let’s make an appointment for s+x”
(sung)
[“an appointement for s+x”: kenan, maya, kenan & maya]
an appointment for s+x
let’s go on another date
an appointment for s+x
love, we can negotiate
an appointment for s+x
9:30, i’m in the bathroom
10:30, i’m on a zoom
11:30, my mom’s in town
12:30, well, i’m in the bathroom again
well, we tried
(spoken)
[chloe]
and don’t miss the song that’s currently charting on the billboard top 100 million
it’s called “let’s take a bath together”
ooh, that sounds s+xy
[michael]
don’t get your hopes up
(sung)
[“let’s take a bath together”: kenan, maya]
let’s take a bath together
i can give you a massage
how about this?
i bathe alone and you can sit back and watch
well, that’s a deal
(spoken)
[chloe]
oh, that was shorter than i expected
[michael]
sure was
but not every song is about how s+x gets to be a chore deep in a marriage
[chloe]
i’m listening
[michael]
t.t. and mario also did songs for several movie soundtracks
like this one from oppenheimer called “boom”
(sung)
[“boom”: kenan, maya, kenan & maya]
boom, pow, come in, girl, lay your body on top of mine
ooh, ow, ow, my back
what? get the h+ll up off of me
okay
oh, my god, we just invented a bomb
(spoken)
[chloe]
was–was that song in a movie?
[michael]
yes, it played in the lobby on the way out
[chloe]
(laughs) i love lobby music
[michael]
t.t. and mario had so many songs for long+term couples
like “fell asleep during foreplay”
“can you shower first?”
“the kids are still awake”
“i’m just gon’ lay here”
and, “let’s start together, but finish on our own”
[chloe]
but they got really freaky
when mario asked t.t. to mix things up in “threesome”
(sung)
[“threesome”: kenan, maya]
i’m almost scared to say it again
but should we bring in a third?
who were you thinking?
that little old lady from work
i can go on and get s+x scene
you can get, gettin’ some sleep
i’ll say okay in the moment
and then i’m gonna key your jeep
my jeep is on fire
(spoken)
[michael]
so order married too long (booty in the rearview) today
and t.t. and mario will deliver each cd to your house personally
[chloe]
unless they are too tired or in the bathroom
[announcer]
t.t. and mario, married too long (booty in the rearview)
the whole album is only nine minutes
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