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saturday night live - the jockey lyrics

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(spoken intro)
[owner]
what do you think, doc? can he ride?

[doctor]
ride a horse? i’m afraid not, son. this man’s leg is broken in six places

[owner]
wonderful. where am i going to find another jockey 10 minutes before the kentucky derby?

[stable hand]
i think i might know someone, sir

[owner]
who?

[stable hand]
someone great

[owner]
where is he?

[stable hand]
believe me, sir. you’ll know him when you see him

[other jockey]
yah! yah! what the heck?
(musical intro)
[toby]
yup, that’s me, riding a horse like a skateboard. you’re probably wondering how i wound up here. well, it’s kind of a crazy story, and it goes a little something like this

(song)
so there i was doing skate tricks at the park
then i jumped with too much force
and i landed on a horse

[owner]
great scott!

[toby]
if i leaned right or left
he’d follow my every move
and if i wanted him to go fast
i’d just give him a bag of chips

we were running really hard
through my neighbor’s backyard

[neighbor]
not my azaleas!

[toby]
he can do an ollie
and a backside 180, too
and if i asked him nicely
he’d do a kickflip
[other jockey]
this guy is crazy!

[toby]
then we went to a track
and we won our very first race
but afterwards he didn’t stop
so we toured the united states

i hold onto his tail
when we ride on a rail

this is our last race
can’t believe that this is the end
next week i have to go to college
and they say i can’t bring my friend
it’s gonna be lonely
i don’t know what i’m gonna do
i hope that when i’m gone
they don’t turn him into glue

(outro)
hey, i think i’m o+++

yep, that pretty much sums it up. that’s how i won the kentucky derby. and wouldn’t you know it? they even made a video game about my life: toby bird pro jockey. not bad for a guy that died later that day. not bad at all

- saturday night live lyrics

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