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savan depaul – sketchpad (the reality escape) lyrics

[verse 1]
somehow by miracle of god
i survived to give all you a song
mental health not the sharpest
but bars the hardest to harvest
one disorder could distort this
portion of organism, morphed by torment
effects of that – his odd vocal
alienating all non-locals
that scourge brought a boy to his knees
unable to reach to fellow man
ducked everything in avoidance and flees
but it also toyed with his dreams
he could imagine entire dimensions
beauty to inspire invention
alas, hamartia gleaming
he could not share that secret

[interlude: richard lutz + doctor]
what i really wanna talk about is asperger’s
and asperger’s for me is not one of those subjects that is easy for me to talk about…
for me, asperger’s is something that has always been something that i’ve had to deal with
it’s something i don’t like to talk about
i don’t like talking about asperger’s, and i think i have every right to feel this way, because uh…
i don’t wanna be judged on something that some might view as a flaw
i wanna be judged for me…
i specifically want to talk about paranoia in the asperger’s mind
now, certainly not all adults with asperger’s or high-functioning autism have tendencies towards paranoia
and even those who do have varying degrees of paranoia

[verse 2]
the autism spectrum got t-tled on its fulcrum
the first draft got burned fast, they didn’t think its wholesome
yes it’s true, us aspies have strange vocals
my great omens get tainted and stay broken
so i pray that your mind can stay open
cuz i need to explain savan’s wide range of emotions
right now i’m sitting here staring down an inbox of mixed opinion, it’s got a n-gg- wincing
just talk bout kiddy spitting
how i’m not cut out for this sh-t
but i gotta remind myself that it’s because of mental issues that i have, i just have to keep pushing
but 1,000 tw-ts at home saying your style is monotone makes me doubt my rhymes and flows
but i can’t help it guys
it’s not that i don’t fight it
even when i put the emotion in, the transaction isn’t made
a man can snap and hit the page
then a motherf-cker will send back “it isn’t great”
“it isn’t great?”
“it isn’t great?”
after 19 years of hearing that, you’d get sick of it too
anyone saying that “just forget that and simply get in the mood”
never went to cl-ss with a clip in the booth ready to off yourself once you’ve hid in your room
it’s not easy, i know some of y’all know that
but i think today i had a breakthrough
an epiphany occured to me
and i wrote a little poem about it
and it goes like this

- savan depaul lyrics

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