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scared weird little guys - mcdonalds lyrics

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i had an accident, which i won’t explain
i slept for nineteen years in a storm water drain
to when i awoke it was two-thousand and ten
i was feeling rather peckish when i woke up and then

i went in search for my favourite place
i was really looking forward to the ‘good times, great taste,’
yes, i went to mcdonald’s looking for some fries
when i walked in the store and to my surprise
all the people in there had bloodshot eyes
and track-marks on their arms and thighs

i looked at the menu-board above my head
i turned to this creep and i said,

‘i’ll have a big smack and a quarter ouncer
a diet cocaine and hash browns to go
i’ll have an ecstasy shake and an acid fudge sundae’
‘will you be shooting up here
or tripping away, man?’

i woke up and found it was only a dream
i crawled out of the drain and i started to scream
because across the street was a mcdonald’s store
i wondered inside, but it was worse that before
because the people in the all had tie-dyed jeans
and long hair and guitars and you know what that means

i looked up at the menu-board above my head
i turned to this dude and i said,

‘i’ll have a big mclentil and a quarter beaner
a tofu mcshake and mcchickpeas
i’d like some buckwheat fries and a seaweed pie.’
and if i ate all of that i’d probably fart till i die.

- scared weird little guys lyrics

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