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schäffer the darklord - craig's list lyrics

which came first, the chicken or the egg?
and which is worse, a good idea that fails or a bad one with legs?
to be terse, your pardon i beg
this first verse is the story of a boy named craig
newmark, whose arc did start while parked at a job
doing computer security for charles schwab
in ’94 the bubble was still just a little glob of bubble gum
and no one knew the trouble’d come
craig was among the elite geek e-community
the few proud who traded data electronically
and to all his friends with which he shared such cameraderie
he would send out a list of events that he wanted to see
and that’s how it all got started
his idea hatched, took flight and departed
not so much a revolution as an e-solution
then a friend said “can i use the list to rent my apartment?”
and another said “i’d like to sell my car on your list.”
“and i’d like to find that girl from the party i kissed.”
another one tried to find the watch knocked off his wrist
and another found a temp gig as an admin -ssist

chorus:
he’s makin’ a list (what?)
he’s makin’ a list (who?)
he’s makin’ a list (craig?)
he’s makin’ a list (yeah)

repeat chorus

well, before you know it it exploded overnight
what was once a list was now a website
but to his nerd values, craig did stay true
gave some jobs to his friends, refused all advertising too
and what’s so great is that the users really run it
actin’ like god, c’mon, everybody’s done it!
you’re readin’ the list, you check a suspicious ad
and like a citizen’s arrest you cl!ck and give it a flag
miscategorized ads are sent for review
as well as the spam, which is prohibited too
craig has faith, you will behave with civility
although the list is still rife with illegal activity

repeat chorus 2x

get a job or a haircut, sublet your house
buy a stolen bicycle, cheat on your spouse
hire an intern, post your resume
find a kinky pen pal you can im all day
sell some concert tickets (cl!ck it) buy some used skis
give or get a bl-wj-b, maybe a disease
find a b-ssist for your band and then post up a show
find a speed or c0ke dealer searching tina or snow
find homes for puppies, have phone s-x with yuppies
see pics of erections, or place a missed connection
find your lost journal and find a ride to burning man
or find an ltr in a personal ad
buy yourself some bootleg dvds
find a h-rny tweaker for some pnp
log on after 3 when all the users are usin’
and the list is all electronic cruisin’
join a study group or a community garden
find a leather nipple pain pig and beg his pardon
post in a forum, find you a ride share
activity partners, is right above child care
i’d like to thank craig for all of his aid
in finding me roommates and a job that well paid
i placed up an ad for ten days, it stayed
and i’m afraid that craig’s list has even gotten me laid
women seeking women seeking men seeking other
seeking friends of susan seeking her long-lost brother
seeking work, seeking rooms, seeking a fling
seeking out the god-d-mn weirdest things
anything you can think, including dirty deeds
use craig’s list, you’re guaranteed to succeed
that’s right, and you just might even find it for free
like snoop said, “never have a want, never have a need.”

repeat chorus 2x

outro:

he’s makin’ a list (what?)
he’s checkin’ it twice (who?)
he sees you when you’re sleeping (craig?)
cause he’s up all night (yeah)

this is the only song ever written (what?)
’bout a website (who?)
called craigslist. you write a (craig?)
line that rhymes with dot-org. (yeah)

repeat outro

he’s makin’ a list (what?)

- schaffer the darklord lyrics

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