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schäffer the darklord - session part 1 lyrics

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schäffer: ok, i can do this. it won’t be like last time. this one will be different. come on, man. get it together. you can do this. you can do this—

madame x: i hate to interrupt…

schäffer: what?!

madame x: would you like to have a seat?

schäffer: how long have you been there?

madame x: i’ve been here the whole time. this is my office, you came here for therapy

schäffer: right. i was just nervous because… i…

madame x: great, have a seat

schäffer: thank you

madame x: so

schäffer: so

madame x: so…

schäffer: so

madame x: so…

schäffer: so… what?

madame x: so…..

schäffer: a… needle pulling thread?

madame x: so, what is your name?

schäffer: oh! it’s schäffer the darklord

madame x: huh. well, mr. the darklord…

schäffer: please, call me schäffer. mr. the darklord is my fa…

madame x: your fathers name. you make that joke a lot, don’t you?

schäffer: no! …yes

madame x: that’s a good joke. i like that joke

schäffer: thanks! i mean you didn’t laugh… so…

madame x: no, it’s great. so, mr. the darklord, why don’t you try telling me your name again?

schäffer: it’s.. mark schäffer

madame x: very good, mr. schäffer. it’s very brave of you to take this first step

schäffer: i guess it is!

madame x: that’s mavelous. so, there’s something troubling you

schäffer: no

madame x: no? nothing is troubling you?

schäffer: no, everything is troubling me

madame x: that must be very troubling

schäffer: it really is!

madame x: well, where would you like to begin?

schäffer: i guess… at the opening?

madame x: i think you mean the beginning

schäffer: can we call it the opening?

madame x: i don’t see why not. mr. schäffer, the floor is yours. and please, take your time

- schaffer the darklord lyrics

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