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schaffer the darklord - the rappist lyrics

[intro]
well, my name is schaffer and i’m here to say
i can rock the mic in the oldschool way
i got a funky sound
and right about now, i’d like to break it down
say what

[part 1]
don’t call it hip-hop, because it really isn’t
if you listen, it’s similar, but just a little different
rhythmically delivered lyrics over wicked beats
are the end of this and hip-hop’s similarities
cause i don’t bounce and i don’t do rap hands
see, look at me, i look like an -ss, man
no crew, no gin and juice
i’m no dr. dre, i’m more like dr. seuss
i wouldn’t use the word rapper, it’s rather inaccurate
i do talk fast, use rhyming words like “immaculate”
hubba-bubba bubble gum, bubblicious bubble yum
rubber baby, buggy bumpers – this is dumb
i don’t rap about the ladies, all are individuals
or call my b-tching about the world political
i don’t send shout-outs, i don’t ever front
i just discuss a bunch of goofy stuff and say what

[hook 1]
i’m not the baddest or the fastest or the phattest
my name is std, my people call me the rappist
i’m no rapper, this isn’t hip-hop
call me the rappist and you don’t stop
well
i’m not the baddest or the fastest or the fattest
my name is std, my people call me the rappist

[part 2]
everyone’ll wonder, what the booker was under
when i come on out and step to the mic
you were askin’ for a rapper, instead you got the rappist
and it happens that there’s no one i’m like (outta sight)
i don’t freestyle, i only write my words
and i’m singin’ it, to me wingin’, it’s for the birds
i often get asked to by non rappin’ band nerds
std is the abbreviation for standard
no dj, no need for turntables
just give me my box, a 58 and a cable
an onstage di and some monitors, too
but keep the reverb off my mix sound man,, thank you
and i don’t play tough and say, “step the f-ck back”
what the f-ck is that? that’s not how i act
i like to keep my audience up close to the stage
i’d you rather you stay than chased away when i play
so where’s queen’s at (what), where’s queen’s at (what)
dude, let me show you on this street map (oh)
it’s right here, over roosevelt, across the east river
that’s enough of that cr-p, i got some raps to deliver

[hook 2]
everybody, look at me
who’s he, he’s std
he’s a geek, he’s no mc
just who the h-ll he’s s’pposed to be
and he’s so, i don’t know
i know he’s no rapper and that’s when i go

[part 3]
hotel, motel
holiday inn
k!ller out of sight, it’s the rappist delight
when goose bumps are jumpin’ out of your skin (i win)
i don’t dance, never, not a godd-mn chance
i stand in the back, clutching a cup in my stance
one hand in my pocket, head nodding, hunched over
sippin’ cheap yellow beer, clear out, before the show’s over
when a rapper says throw your hands up, i don’t
when a rapper says make some noise, i won’t
bossing your audience is awfully pompous
so i’ll never do it, that’s the std promise
i’ll never battle rap or rap like i’m black
and i’ll try to never lose sight of just where i’m at
goddammit, and i’ll never do that again
and by that i mean end a sentence with a preposition
i got props for the real hip-hop
those who pop and lock to the beat of a boombox
those who c-ck their glocks and bawk f-ck the cops
it’s just not how i rock and i don’t stop

[hook 2]

[part 4]
don’t push me, cause i’m close to the edge
and i’m tryin’ not to lose my head
in the west i’m the raddest, i’m the best, i’m the rappist
in the street i’ve not a drop of cred (i said)
i almost always write my rhymes on a page
of 3 by 5 notebooks i buy at rite aid
and i like to write ’em with a pilot precise 5
rolling ball, black ink in extra fine
i don’t need a t-tular line (try)
stickin’ to my themes and write original rhymes
indeed, i smoke weed, i rarely write without it
but i don’t really feel that means i need to rap about it
i guess, i often write a song by my formula
which is 3 verses followed by 3 choruses
but never open going, yo, yo
when i hear a rapper do that, i go oh, no
though i’m not implying that you don’t know what you’re doing
but often times awful rhymes do ruin
an otherwise perfectly fine instrumental
i think you should avoid ink and write with a pencil
and erase the parts that don’t sound so hot
this’ll all be covered in my workshop
ent-tled this is how to write a rhyme
at least it’s how to write it in a style that’s mine

[hook 2]‌

[part 5]
oooo-oooo, that’s the sound of the police
but i really doubt they’re coming for me
because i’ve done no crime, i’m just doing my thing
i’m the rappist known as std
don’t call it hip-hop, because it really isn’t
it’s just a little different, did you listen as i hit it
i just spit a mile a minute, now i’ll hit and quit it
i’m only kidding, you with it, you in it, you get it
i’m not the baddest or the fastest or the phattest
my name is std, my people call me the rappist
b-ss, how low can you go
death row, what a brother knows
this is the end of the track called the rappist
and thanks for coming out to the show

- schaffer the darklord lyrics

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