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schmekel - surgical drains lyrics

on the first night of my thirteenth hannukah
grandma pearlie gave me my first push+up bra
but all i wanted since i was a shayna maedel
was a chest upon which i could spin a dreidel

some like bananas, some like plantains
i just want those surgical drains!
pour them out and flush the remains
everybody’s singin’ ’bout surgical drains!

later i became a right+wing politician
all day long i talked of stocks and ammunition
i said, “those silly f+ggots are so heinous!”
but i really wanted to take it in the +n+s
you can keep your capital gains
i just want those surgical drains!
did they ever find saddam hussein’s
weapons of massive surgical drains?
at the election, no+onе abstains
everybody votes for surgical drains!
the highеst distinction that one can obtain
congressional medal of surgical drains!

those muscley teabaggers sat on my face
i sucked their b+lls all over the place
i wished i was a little bit more b00bless
i never want to go anywhere tubeless

when i sit next to strangers on trains
i just talk about surgical drains!
it’s such a fun topic that no+one complains
when i bring up surgical drains!
some look for men with talent and brains
but i want a man with surgical drains!
when i’m watching snakes on a plane
i just think about surgical drains!
i can’t get no kick from champagne/cocaine
but i get a kick out of surgical drains!

- schmekel lyrics

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