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scoochie boochie - big space battle lyrics

[spoken]

(wall explodes)
dax: get in
scooch: dax pulsar? i thought you were working for blomp
dax: i decided f+ck that guy
also an impossible+odds sp+ce prison break is very much my sh+t
helen: welcome aboard the risin rust ii
dax: this is my ship computer helen, she′s a big fan
helen: what? no, i’m not, you are
dax: there′s no time!
narrator: at the sun, they found a blomp fleet
surrounding a giant laser drill
blomp: behold! the might of the blomp armada, squeeeezer of windpipes
scooch: blomp, you idiot, there’s no coal in the sun!
blomp: you want the coal for yourself!
scoochie: ok he’s uselеss. dax, can we kick ass?
dax: outnumbered, outgunnеd… outstanding
narrator: dax plunged into the fray
blomp ships burst like grapes underfoot
dax: helen, calculate the odds of survival
helen: 1 in 2.3 million
dax: never tell me the odds
helen: okay
scooch: look!
narrator: suddenly a new fleet blinked out of hybrid+sp+ce
and engaged the blomp forces
a hodgepodge flotilla: with glutonians in their baguette frigates
blake the oracle, riding a skateboard made of pizza
and a ship shaped like a bloomin′ onion
piloted by none other than ronny two+shoes
scoochie: it′s ronny! he’s one of the main guys!
dax: now we′re cookin’ with jazz
narrator: dax led them into the t++th of the blomp forces
a big+ass sp+ce battle, you can picture it
helen: the drill′s almost charged, we’re not gonna make it!
dax: just need a little more time
scooch: i think i know where to get some
narrator: scoochie plucked a fat nug off the ship′s hybrid+drive
and rolled a doozy of a doobie
helen: careful scoochie, n0body’s ever smoked
that much eternity purp!
scooch: i’m not n0body
narrator: then scoochie saw it all
how his vision of sideburns wasn′t him, but his father: hoogy
who was swept out to sea while drunk on a paddleboard
and washed up on the shores of the volcano
how they fell in love, but then a boat full of spring breakers
rescued hoogy and he was gone before magma knew
she was pregnant with the best rapper in the united sp+ce
then scoochie saw his dad as an old man
locked away in a high stone tower
hoogy: i never should have left
but i was afraid. did i really have the b+lls to marry a volcano?
but now i know… the b+lls are in the mind
narrator: scoochie burst through the airlock
and jumped towards the sun
scoochie: excuse me. i know this is crazy, but
narrator: he tried to take a knee in sp+ce
scoochie: i knew from the moment i saw you
that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
narrator: and pulled out a ring with a basketball+sized diamond
scoochie: the sun, will you marry me?
the sun: ummmm who the f+ck are you?
narrator: the sun spun suddenly and slung scoochie off into sp+ce
sun: i′m sorry, have we met?
what, so you thought i was hot, and that means we’ve got something?
we don′t have sh+t. ok? i am a god in most religions
you are 5’11” with no chest hair!
you know what, f+ck all of y′all
why do men always have to blow each other up?
you’re in sp+ce, b+tch
there′s nothing but room to mind your own business
blomp: silence!
sun: who the f+ck are you?
blomp: i am lord blomp, commander of
(whoosh sun burns him, blomp screams)
narrator: the sun lashed out with solar flares, scattering the fleets
dax flew through the chaos like a river otter on cbd
and scooped scoochie up out of thin sp+ce
scoochie: my dad’s alive, and he needs our help
helen, can you get us to the areas system?
helen: barely
dax: hold on. what’s in it for dax?
narrator: suddenly, another fleet appeared
piloted by the single mothers and illegitimate children
scoochie had left across the galaxy
bm: scoochie boochie, you owe 11 trillion credits in child support
by order of the baby mama armada
scooch: dax, please
help me find my dad before my kids find me
dax: tell me the odds
scooch: i don′t know, 3 million to
dax: never tell me the odds
helen: ok we have got to stop falling for that
(ship blasts off)

- scoochie boochie lyrics

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