scoochie boochie - vii. fried baked twice-baked refried bean lyrics
[dialogue] (ty dewie)
the t.h.seeeeagulls are coming!
[narration] (narrator)
a flock of t.h.seagulls swarmed in behind young robert t+st+cl+s and attacked the technomancers. +lasers firing+ scoochie shot a fart +fart+ that shattered the tank of the toilet, freeing up ty dewie to zip around and free the others. dax’s cage fell open, and he landed directly on a t.h.seagull, which he expertly piloted, scooping up helen and marie
[dialogue] (scoochie boochiе, helen)
scoochie: hеlen, can you get the force field down?
helen: i’ll try, but+ you know that would let the baby mama armada land?
scoochie: exactly. marie, tell them i surrender. if they help us beat king stink, i’ll stop running
[narration] (narrator)
scoochie and his son kept king stink distracted while dax pulsar flew helen and marie to the force field controls. hooghie did nothing but keep being eighty+seven, which was the hardest thing any of them were doing
[dialogue] (helen, dax pulsar, marie, king stink)
helen: i can’t hack it!
dax: aaaalright, where’s the photon missile on this bird?
marie: is zis guy f+cking se’ious?
helen: +sighs+ girl, don’t even get me started
king stink: your marshal farts are weak. behold: my fried, baked twice+baked, refried beeeeean!
[narration] (narrator)
king stink ate a single glowing bean. his eyes turned white, and a rumbling shook the bowl
[dialogue] (ty dewie)
he’s gonna rip!
[narration] (narrator)
in that split second, scoochie tackled king stink and pointed his evil ass at helen and marie
[dialogue] (scoochie boochie)
get down!
[narration] (narrator)
dax [?] took them on a t.h.seagull just in time, before a white+hot beam of gas exploded from king stink and obliterated the force field controls
[dialogue] (king stink)
nooooooo! oh god, i feel bad. can i sit down?
[narration] (narrator)
with the force field gone, the baby mama armada descended and quickly subdued king stink and his forces. and so scoochie saved the day by being slightly less of a piece of sh+t and embracing his role as a dad
[dialogue] (marie, scoochie boochie)
marie: you saved my boy. i am g’hateful
scoochie: i saved our boy. and you saved ya boy
marie: what
scoochie: you saved me. like, romantically
marie: oh, wow. okay, wow, yeah! ummm, oh my goodness! eh+ le+ mm. goodbye!
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