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scott lavene - broke lyrics

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i’m broke
skint
strapped
brassic

this old fella come round to my crumbling abode
the band used to rehe+rs+, in his garage
i know he’s always suffered with some very serious mental health problems
but to me, he’s always been a kind and decent fella

he knew i was having a rough time
so on this day, he brought around two bottles of gin, four bottles of wine, some fray bentos pies, six tins of cheap irish stew, a packet of ginger nuts, and a loaf of sh+t bread
i was grateful ’cause i was hungry, and i was thirsty
i was always thirsty

then he sat down on the sofa and told me he was thinking about murdering his mum
that was a bit awkward, so i had a sip of gin, smiled at him

i was broke
skint
strapped
brassic

i was broke
skint
strapped
brassic
it was just before christmas when i was sacked from the pub i worked in
they’d always warned me that i was more drunk than the customers
i considered that a perk of the job
‘parently not

two days later i went for an audition, in a department store to be father christmas
they said i was too thin, and too young
f+cking b+st+rds

then i got picked at the post for a job delivering tofu by bicycle
the girl who got the job could speak chinese, which the owner liked

i had a girlfriend at the time
i called her up and told her of my financial predicament
and she sighed the longest sigh that i have ever heard
it went like this:

[sighhh…]

then she said:
“oh for f+ck’s sake scott, i can’t deal with this right now; i’m just going out for lunch with roland from marketing”

“who the f+ck is roland from marketing?”
i thought, as i put the phone down

i had the right hump after that
so i phoned a couple of pals to see if they could lend me fifty quid
so i could go and get completely +rs+holed
i was broke
skint
strapped
brassic

i was broke
skint
strapped
brassic

that christmas turned out alright, though
’cause and old mate of mine from ess+x phoned me up
said he needed a hand chopping down bushes
so we could sell ’em as bonsai trees on basildon market

we made a small fortune, though it did feel a bit snidey
selling them to the nice old ladies
oh well, much better that
than being broke

skint
strapped
brassic

broke
skint
strapped
brassic
that girl dumped me in the end
f+ck her
i don’t know if chris ever murdered his mum
maybe one day i’ll read about it in the paper
thing is
i don’t read papers!

even if he does k!ll her
it probably won’t end up in the papers
’cause there’s so many f+cking +rs+holes in this world
murdering their mums
it ain’t even news anymore

not me though
i have never once thought about murdering my mum
she’s f+cking lovely!

as well as that every time i see her
she always bungs me a few quid
hopefully one day i’ll be able to do the same to my little girl
i f+cking doubt it though!
’cause i’m always

broke
skint
strapped
brassic

- scott lavene lyrics

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