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sea of deprivation - so i abhor... lyrics

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no more, brilliance in my laugh
no more, warmth in my smile
no more, gleam of hope in my eyes
only pockets
filled with sorrow

my fall from grace
to a place i cannot face
where the air is cold and moist
no salvation but my voice
a disaster wrapped in pain
i watch my world fall out of me
dignity spills away
and emptiness takes it’s place
my mind subdues to shame
and emptiness takes it’s place
leaves me numb and hollow
a void wrought by disgrace
i’ve lost a part of me
that there’s no way to replace

when comfort blends to confidence
to a sense of self worth
to a state of, near happiness
where inhibition, is divorced
intoxication masks humiliation
impaired by an unseen force
like a dog that’s just been beaten
i will always come back for more
self+fulfillment
of these prophecies
leaves me crippled
with remorse

so i abhor…
so i abhor…
so i abhor…
so i abhor…

without this sense of misery
i would not be me
without the sweet embrace of agony
i would lose everything close to me

what an unfortunate feeble existence
is this the life we all have to lead?
isolation
indignation
desolation
progression indeed

without the fear of rejection
i could amass some esteem
without a positive self+reflection
i’m only left to hate everything. [ah?]
why do i carry on this charade?
with every silver lining is someone else’s pain
why do i wake up every day?
when i know it will always be the same

nothing can replace the things that could have been
nothing will erase the moment they slipped through my fingers

i sit high
on my throne
the king of despair
all alone…
nothing..

- sea of deprivation lyrics

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