seamus kennedy - armed services tribute/drunken sailor lyrics
um, i’m gonna do the tribute to the united states armed forces right now
when you start any tribute to the armed services you always start with the marine corps
[audience]: why?
why?
because by the time you’ve got to the end of it, they’ve understood the first line
what does a marine call a helicopter?
uhh, uhh, bird-uuh
how can you tell a marine working on an oil rig at sea?
he’s the one throwing bread to the incoming helicopters. “here, birdy, birdy, birdy.”
how do ya get a marine to commit suicide?
throw a shovel of sand at a brick wall and tell him to “hit the beach!”
y’know what the word “marine” stands for?
muscles are required, intelligence not essential
ooh, some army people over there
what do ya call a marine with an iq of 70?
general
how can you tell when a marine has been using your computer terminal?
white-out on the screen
now, you also know that the marine’s hymn is the most versatile song written in the united states because you can sing it to any melody
[audience]: prove it!
you don’t believe me?
[audience]: no!
want some examples?
[audience]: yeah!
ok, guess you’ll have to settle for 10
[solemn style]
from the halls of montezuma to the shores of tripoli
we will fight our countries battles in the air, on land, and sea
or like this:
[“old mcdonald” style]
from the halls of montezuma to the shores of tripoli
we will fight our country’s battles in the air, on land and sea
first to fight for right and freedom
and to keep our honor clean
we are proud to bear the title of united states marines
or like this:
[akin to walker, texas ranger theme]
from the halls of montezuma to the shores of tripoli
we will fight our country’s battles in the air, on land and sea
first to fight for right and freedom
and to keep our honor clean
we are proud to bear the title of united states marines
gung ho!
*whistles* *whipcrack* yaah! urgh!
gung ho!
we are proud to bear the title of united states marines
here’s how they do it in texas:
from the halls of montezuma to what’s left of tripoli
we will fight our country’s battles in the air, on land and sea
first to fight for right and freedom
and to keep our honor clean
we are proud to bear the title of united states marines
traditional version:
from the halls of montezuma to the shores of tripoli
we will fight our country’s battles in the air, on land and sea
first to fight for right and freedom
and to keep our honor clean
we are proud to bear the title of united states marines
semper fi
and now those air force pukes:
off we go into the wild blue yonder
lost again, son of a b-tch!
and now the airborne, first the men who fly the airplanes, the pilots:
the pilot tried to loop-the-loop at zero-zero feet
the pilot tried to loop-the-loop at zero-zero feet
the pilot tried to loop-the-loop at zero-zero feet
he ain’t gonna fly no more!
gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
and now the men and women who jump from those airplanes, paratroopers, rangers, green berets. jumping from perfectly good airplanes with not a thing wrong with them. and they say marines were dumb?
there was blood upon the riser, there were brains upon his chute
intestines were a-dangling from his paratrooper suit
he was a mess, they picked him up and poured him from his boot
and he ain’t gonna jump no more!
gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
he ain’t gonna jump no more!
the army. artillery:
was it high, was it low, where the hell did that one go?
and the caissons go rolling along
the coast guard:
i’m popeye the sailor man
i’m popeye the sailor man
i fights to the finish ’cause i eats me spinach
i’m popeye the sailor man
the navy:
let’s go get laid, my boys, let’s go get laid…
nope, something a bit more dignified for the navy. that’s accurate, but something more dignified
what shall we do with a drunken sailor
what shall we do with a drunken sailor
what shall we do with a drunken sailor
early in the morning
heave-ho and up she rises, heave-ho and up she rises
heave-ho and up she rises, early in the morning
shave his belly with a rusty razor, shave his belly with a rusty razor, shave his belly with a rusty razor
early in the morning
heave-ho and up she rises, heave-ho and up she rises
heave-ho and up she rises, early in the morning
put him in the bilge and make him drink it
put him in the bilge and make him drink it
put him in the bilge and make him drink it
early in the morning
heave-ho and up she rises, heave-ho and up she rises
heave-ho and up she rises, early in the morning
well make him skipper of the exxon valdez
make him a skipper of the exxon valdez
make him a skipper of the exxon valdez
early in the morning
heave-ho and up she rises, heave-ho and up she rises
heave-ho and up she rises, early in the morning
we’ll lock him in a room full of bagpipe music
lock him in a room full of bagpipe music
lock him in a room full of bagpipe music
early in the morning
heave-ho and up she rises, heave-ho and up she rises
heave-ho and up she rises, early in the morning
heave-ho and up she rises, heave-ho and up she rises
heave-ho and up she rises, early in the morning
now let’s have a really big round of applause for all of our armed services, they’re always there when we need them. army, navy, air force, marines, coast guard, national guard
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