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sean c. johnson - thirty (30) lyrics

verse 1:
wish i could erase the images i’ve seen
year was 93’, tape on the bed right next to me
couldn’t wait till my auntie went to sleep, so we put the tv on mute
and the girl on the tv so cute, could have sworn she was looking at me
now the seed is planted so deep, turn the lights off
mouth sitting wide open, but i can’t talk
did the girl just really take her clothes off?
can’t look away, it’s about to do down holler “may day”
real talk i thought this was a game? i left that room with chains
never looked at girls the same, because i know
being thirty years old and a virgin, don’t mean you out grow them urges
never should have pulled back that curtain
thank god for the blood he purchased me
still the images in my sleep; never thought i’d be this deep
when a girl walk past i’m weak… why not? that’s what i’m thinking
i’m a pig in the morning like bacon, clothes on in my mind you naked
my virtue i’m forsaking. my lord
probably going to need your grace
don’t forget my face…be back tomorrow roll tape

chorus:
bare my soul, let it go, let it go
heavy load, bare my soul, let it go, let it go

verse 2 (shyspeaks):
(i was) a sweet 16, looking so clean, with 2 of my girls, linking up with our boos
we agreed we weren’t pitching home-runs, but letting’em hit a few bases was cool
so yeah he knew, he wasn’t gone do me; plus we were coming to just watch a movie
he popped it in, it was a fl1ck, and all i seen was the back of a chick
with her hand on his “whoa”, out the corner of my eye, i’m looking at him feeling sick
you would’ve sworn i wasn’t trying to get pregnant, they way i start yelling, “aye pull it out, quick”
they looked at me like “you serious?”, i looked like, “yeah that’s right”
they looked at me and just smh’d, i guess i k!lled their vibe but
i, say we gone get caught, plus it’s too loud, he say, my dad walk in right now he would be proud
wow, but bore me; he say, “nah you a virgin, you scared of this orgies”
he was right, i left that room with questions
am i the object of a man’s affections or his erection
all i know, that day i said no, & as a woman, i never looked backed
but if i did this is how it would go
i would haul in from a hard day, hop up out my heel
in heat, i would hover the internet for some hot thrills
conscious crying, body tingling, head low singing

repeat chorus

verse 3 (adam l):
i used to sneak peeks at my momma’s catalog, that’s where the apple falls
on pouty lips and padded bras, and that’s what adam saw
it had him all off balance
and castles fall when p-ssive palace walls are challenged by the reign of cats and jackled dogs
she bares her chest, now i bare my chest (h-sslehoff)
i swear my chest was barely even hairy when my addict called, and told me that is all
convincing me this blackened hall was one i had to walk
and i had a dad and mom
but my camouflaged was real, for every layer that she peels there’s one that i conceal
and i can deal with this until i get to numb to feel what i can’t k!ll
if you can’t drive a screw you know the drill
you take the only pill and slowly k!ll your family
traded my first love for a fantasy
all because a planted seed i can’t retrieve
i think of how it damaged me
can’t stand to think my fantasy was probably there because her father was a man
like me… help me jesus!!

repeat chorus

- sean c johnson lyrics

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