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sentaliium - no/s/n lyrics

part i: not okay

(verse)
i don’t know what i’m feeling, i know for sure, i’m not healing
i’m feeling empty, i’m receding, i’ve just been tryna be discreet
late at night, i’m not sleeping, i’ve slowed down on eating
yeah, late at night when i’m tryna sleep
i have all my thoughts just racing
my thoughts are running in a circle
i can’t really handle this workload
i’m losing a lot of my will, this sh+t’s going on in a cycle
yeah, but my mask is breaking alongside me, i will not make it
they say we’re meant to go our way, but i won’t take it
i’ll find my way
i talked to my best friend lex, we got mutual respect
and i can trust him with these facts
yeah, yеah
i have demons on my mind, i might not escapе this time
i’m just looking for a sign
yeah, yeah
everybody asking me why i’m down
i respond, “why do you shut me out?”
we all have voices and i don’t have a doubt
but every time i talk, i just get turned down
they made me feel like a failure, but yet
i was still out here calling them friends
it’s a rule of life, everything has to end
but i’m still upset that i blew each chance
first time, it happened at a dance
second time, it was sh+t from old friends
third time, cut off, the sh+t ended
fourth time, that hasn’t happened yet
this last little while, i’ve felt unwanted
but i know this sh+t ain’t warranted
i used to love my life and thrive
no more, is this sh+t a happy jive
i know that i’m not okay, i don’t know what road to take
i know i’m on the last straw
yeah, yeah
it all started one day, now i wanna be erased
but i know i cannot fall
yeah, yeah
my mind’s at the crossroads, what do i do? i don’t know
but i’m losing all control
no, no
yeah, there are some times where i don’t wanna be alive
but i’ll make it home this time, oh
yeah, yeah
(outro)
yeah, this’ll help me cope, yeah, this’ll help you cope
yeah, there’s some sh+t i know, but a phase’ll be over
i know that sh+t, but i hope
that i’ll come outta this unscathed
but right now, i’m not okay
yeah, but right now, i’m not okay

part ii: solace

(verse 1)
“suck it up, little b+tch, this sh+t’ll pass”
yes, thank you, that sh+t really helps
“any f+cking time, if you need some help”
i’m just kidding, b+tch, you’re f+cking useless
i don’t understand why i’m so down
like how the f+ck am i still kicking around
i’m all alone, just waiting to be found
but i’m still buried six feet underground
i’m screaming, but i’m not making sound
i can’t think of sh+t, my mind is a cloud
and i know that i’m being brought down
look at me, i’m a f+cking clown
i am, to them, i’m the godd+mn circus
look at me, tell me, do i deserve this
i just want solace
(chorus)
i don’t have time and i can’t feel sh+t
but everyone is lying, they say i should call it quits
but as time moves by, i see my state worsen
i’m f+cking lost inside, i can’t find solace
i can’t find solace, i can’t find solace
i can’t find solace, no+no+no+no+no
solace, no+no+no+no+no
yeah, no i just can’t

(verse 2)
spent an afternoon talking to a friend
i’m really f+cking grateful to have lex
someone to talk to, to tell the truth
‘cause i’m running outta lies that i’m gonna use
i almost cry to sleep every f+cking night
because i don’t think i’m living right
they don’t know how to do it
to them, i’m stupid, obsolete, or amusing
i thought it was blessing, but i learned that it’s a curse
and now i’m writing in my room with my friendships in a he+rs+
but i think that i’m depressed, but i gotta f+cking hide
everybody sees a mask of a kid who’s excited
every time you saw me smile, i f+cking lied
walking ‘round school with my hands tied
i can’t speak the truth ‘cause in this world
i gotta be man, shut up, can’t hurt
(chorus) 2:06
i don’t have time and i can’t feel sh+t
but everyone is lying, they say i should call it quits
but as time moves by, i see my state worsen
i’m f+cking lost inside, i can’t find solace
i can’t find solace, i can’t find solace
i can’t find solace, no+no+no+no+no
solace, no+no+no+no+no
yeah, no i just can’t

part iii: nothing

(verse 1)
i don’t understand, why no one wants me around
i can’t take a stand, ‘cause i’ll be shut down
when i take a look around, i always hear the same sound
and when i take a look down, everything comes about
yeah, i know everybody doubts me
since march, i haven’t slept soundly
right now, when i say ‘friends’, i ain’t referring to them
when i say ‘friends’, i’m referring to lex
yeah, right now, i ain’t okay
i hope to feel something soon one day

(chorus)
i don’t understand, why no one else likes me
i made this image in hopes i’d be something
i did what i loved, and they turned against me
they did nothing short of making me nothing

(verse 2)
when i try to scream, i make not a sound
try as i might, my voice ain’t loud
i’m honestly not sure, how i’m gonna get through this
i might be depressed, find this song to prove it
yeah, i always live this nightmare
nothing is quite clear, even at my highs
everything seems final, play my songs on a vinyl
you gon’ miss me when i’m gone
and they hoping that it’s not too long
so i’d better be going, maybe tryna find a girlfriend
someone who cares about me
i’m going back to my real friends
it’s been a long intermission, i don’t know what i was thinking
it’s something i’m not cut out for, what am i doing right now?
i’m tryna cancel it out, i’m tryna figure it out
i can’t do sh+t anymore, i’ve finally closed the door
i’m gonna work on myself, i’m gonna take down what’s left
i’ma get outta this h+ll

(chorus)
i don’t understand, why no one else likes me
i made this image in hopes i’d be something
i did what i loved, and they turned against me
they did nothing short of making me nothing

(bridge)
it’s hard to be okay, when nothing is the same
it’s hard to be okay, when your friends fade away
it’s hard to be okay, when you’re a victim of the hate
it’s hard to be okay, when you can’t think straight

(chorus)
i don’t understand, why no one else likes me
i made this image in hopes i’d be something
i did what i loved, and they turned against me
they did nothing short of making me nothing
i don’t understand, why no one else likes me
i made this image in hopes i’d be something
i did what i loved, and they turned against me
they did nothing short of making me nothing

- sentaliium lyrics

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