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sentient anomaly - auto pilot lyrics

[verse 1]
suffering, without cryin’
no complains and never give a sign
suffering, without showing
carry on like nothing, n0body must be knowing
daily chores and work and studying
n0body knows that inside you are dying
just complying
with what society expects you to do
but the one they see is not the real you
your body aches, twitch out of control
your brain is melting right out of your skull
you try to focus, but, it all feels dull
physically there, yeah, but it’s just the hull

and you’re always tired, always feels so weak
going yet another month, then another week
never getting proper rest, cannot get no sleep
when you’re finally in bed, you just want to scream
you go and close your eyes, and then you start to sink
in a hole inside your soul, deeper than you think
but about this, you can never speak
feeling a need so deep to just physically rip
and tear out all of this pain
out of your guts, out of your chest
out of your throat, out of your head

and so you don’t sleep, but you still work
and you can’t scream, but you still hurt
and it shows on your face, how you really feel
’cause you look like sh+t, have you seen the mirror?
dark circles taking half your face
no smile, eyes in a daze
“do you have a cold, man? you lookin’ kinda sick”
no i’m fine, i just need some sleep
no i’m fine, i just need some sleep
no i’m fine, i just need some sleep
no i’m fine, i just —

i’m just suffering without explaining
if i ever do, then they always blame me
i’m just suffering without emotion
i have learnt to hide, lest cause a commotion
i’m just suffering on auto pilot
outside okay but inside a riot

[verse 2]
i don’t tell n0body ‘cause n0body care
all these people all around me but n0body there
too busy doing stories for the instagram
tell me how cool your life is, smiles are on demand
but i don’t blame ‘em, i’m just envious, and i understand
“laugh and the world laughs with you”, so… good for them
but “weep and you weep alone”, she said, and she was right
lying awake in bed again, repeating every night
my body is tired dead but my mind won’t let me sleep
when life’s a nightmare how do you expect to dream?
and it’s been so long, i can’t even tell
since i was a kid i felt i’m stuck in h+ll
only gets worse and the years pass
slowly come to understand that you will never last
it becomes apparent, only one thing to do
on one sunny day, you just want it through
be finally embraced, rope around my neck
giving myself peace? i will not regret
i will not regret
i will not regret
i will not regret

[bridge] (unintelligible)
and if this is life, then i’ve had enough
there’s no point pretending that it will get better
and i know sometimes, that it can be rough
but this pain inside me has been there forever

[chorus]
i’m just suffering without crying
i don’t have a cold, i am fully dying
i’m just suffering without complaining
i perform my duties, everything they saying
i’m just suffering without telling
because i know that no one can help me
i’m just suffering without explaining
if i ever do, then they always blame me
i’m just suffering without emotion
i have learnt to hide, lest cause a commotion
i’m just suffering on auto pilot
outside okay but inside a riot

- sentient anomaly lyrics

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