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sentient anomaly - happiness is not real lyrics

[verse 1]
i look back at my life
all the years that have gone by
all the efforts i made
all the pain i had to take
trying to use it as fuel
hoping one day i could create
something more out of it
a life worth livin’
but i look inside of me
and i really can’t say
i’ve ever had it my way
no

[chorus 1]
because happiness is not real
i’ve chased it all my life but it was never near
only a mirage that i’ve dreamed for years
if there’s a way to feel it then i have no idea

[chorus 2]
because happiness has never come
i’ve worked so hard to achieve some joy and fun
but it’s been denied, no matter what i’ve done
and now my strength to do anything is gone

[verse 2]
have i ever been happy?
i’m just asking
have i ever felt loved or comforted?
have i ever held the things i truly wanted?
long enough for me to feel that they were firm in my grasp
not going anywhere, i really wanna ask
have i ever looked back at my life
and genuinely said “ah, i’m so happy that i didn’t die”
i know i’ve suffered, and i kept it as quiet as could be
didn’t drag others down with me
just grinded my t++th, kept the tears within
and i know i’ve worked hard to change every single thing
about my life or me that i wasn’t happy with
but after all the efforts to improve and grow
what has really changed? where did it all go?
i just became uglier and older
my heart left to get colder and colder
have i enjoyed anything, have i become happy?
what even is “happy”, maybe i’ve never felt it
[chorus 1]
because happiness is not real
i’ve chased it all my life but it was never near
only a mirage that i’ve dreamed for years
if there’s a way to feel it then i have no idea

[chorus 2]
because happiness has never come
i’ve worked so hard to achieve some joy and fun
but it’s been denied, no matter what i’ve done
and now my strength to do anything is gone

[chorus 3]
because my happiness was only fake
if i ever smiled, it was for appearance sake
and they teach us “be happy, life is what you make”
but that’s some bullsh+t i no longer take

[chorus 4]
because happiness has been purely imaginary
it’s about as real as santa or the f+cking tooth fairy
at this point i cannot think living longer is necessary
just more years of this sh+t, i have to say it’s scary

[chorus 5]
because happiness was just an illusion
i thought i could find it, that was my delusion
and all the things i tried, never a good solution
there’s no more point in trying, and that’s my last conclusion

- sentient anomaly lyrics

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