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sentient anomaly - in darkness i’m frozen lyrics

[verse 1]
i can’t enjoy things anymore
even the things i used to enjoy alone
now when i finally get home
and i try to do something for my own
like play a game i’ve been waiting for
or watch a movie, or episode
anything that should be enjoyable
i sit in front of my computer, and this is usually how it goes

i’m stuck. i’m frozen. i’m paralyzed
i can’t bring myself to do anything, not even stuff i used to like
somehow
i just end up sitting in my room, in darkness
scrolling down on reddit, or some random feed in my browser
all i can do is scroll and scroll and cl!ck on sh+t that doesn’t matter
and i can’t find anything to move my mind
i used to enjoy my alone time
but now
i don’t еven feel like gaming anymore
i don’t еven watch new movies anymore
f+ck i don’t even watch p+rn
nor i jack off, if you wanna know

and even if i did, i wouldn’t find anything exciting
i just feel like my life is coming close to expiring
like enjoying stuff is done
all my energy is gone
and i know that it won’t come
back
there is no incentive left
to do anything
there is nothing fun ahead of me
there is no stimulus to go try, do or see

i’m just unhappy and i’m dissatisfied
i’m so frustrated that nothing i do changes how i feel inside
i can’t enjoy my days, can’t sleep my nights
i try to change this life but it won’t comply
so when i’m in trance, just scrolling on some website
i’m not really alive
but at least during that time
i’m not thinking about suicide
[chorus]
in darkness, i’m frozen, i gave it all
i had the energy, but now it’s gone

just endless scrolling, to numb my brain
it’s the only thing, that stops this pain

there’s nothing else, that i can give
if this is life, then i don’t want to live

[verse 2]
so yeah i’m unhappy
but let me tell you something about me before you attack me
i was never the kind of guy
who sat in a corner and just cried
i was never the kind of person with no reaction
who just complains daylong without taking action
i had been lost, but i spent time looking at my reflection
i’ve +n+lysed my thoughts, my moods, my desire for affection
and every time through this kind of introspection
i realized i had to work hard to adjust my life’s current direction
so i set goals for myself
stood up, moved my ass
i did anything i had to do
to grow and improve
i was embarrassed even with my looks
looked in the mirror, thought i had man b00bs
so i started working out regularly
and i wanted to learn languages
so i studied night and day
i gave all of it, no time left to play
i wanted to experience life around the world
so even though the money was always on the low
i drew some plans, and moved abroad
but no matter what
i always felt alone
well, actually… i had someone by my side
and i was okay for a while
but just a while…

but now i’m stuck again
and it’s been like this for so long, i mean
i’ve been trying pushing everyday
but nothing ever goes my f+cking way
and every little attempt has been pointless
every thing i have tried has been useless
and now i’m void of life
i don’t enjoy anything anymore and it’s no surprise
that i feel like this, how could it be otherwise
when you work so hard and even get so far
but life keeps says no, no matter what you try
even when i make all the efforts
to try to change for the better
there is absolutely no result, and no solution
no matter what i do, zero retribution
and now… i am not motivated in undertaking any task
or even do something fun just to let the time pass
it’s just white noise in my head, and a void in my heart
i’m paralyzed, i’m frozen, by myself in the dark

[chorus]
in darkness, i’m frozen, i gave it all
i had the energy, but now it’s gone

just endless scrolling, to numb my brain
it’s the only thing, that stops this pain

there’s nothing else, that i can give
if this is life, then i don’t want to live

[outro]
i’m just wasting all my time
looking at random sh+t online
because when my brain switches off
then i don’t feel a thing anymore

- sentient anomaly lyrics

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