september stories - ego death under the ohio sunset lyrics
my fear of life has kept me from living
and my fear of death she whispers “always unforgiving”
tied to this place like it’s the only solid ground that i know
but the first step off the ledge is the first step that i have to go
and i let my foot fall flat, i let it bathe in the dark
i’ve let this feeling warm me in its comfortable arms
i’ve let this feeling lull me to sleep without ever closing my eyes
and i instructed it to compartmentalize this from my life
and yet i still sit in this cage waiting for the key to be delivered to me
but the door was never closed and the lock was only a figment available to me
and maybe the key it never existed, maybe i’m all i’ll ever see
but i can’t believe that this is it
that i watched the life that i loved pass
and out of comfort i couldn’t say sh+t
and maybe i felt unfit for a life so easy
and maybe i just felt more comfortable in my unseen corner
all alone like i always wanted
all alone and no one’s watching
all alone i stand in awe of the great unknown
bewildered by its brilliance and infinite complexion
i walk ahead, arms raised welcoming it’s inner sense of direction
i’m cut off from making any objection
stuck in my finite loop of always missing perfection
i was raised in a house built on insurrection
but i was born to inevitably give way to defection
we’ve all felt this ringing through our ears
like someone standing beside us when only we’re here
this feeling in your chest never lies
it wants us to accept that none of us will ever make it out alive
i’ve crossed the line of return
when looking back i can already see the lines blur
i’m lost inside this sp+ce
forgotten the meaning of time
i’ve seen the devil and god’s face
and how it seemed to resemble mine
i’m alone inside time
feeling each and every thought unwind
feeling as insignificant as a photo to the blind
and it takes time but i will remind myself that i am aligned on these tracks before me
i am nothing to no one
the son of none
i am everything but holy…
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