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september stories - spiraling lyrics

who will i be in the next ten years?
will i be disappointed by who i’ve become?
will i stand for what matters and concur these irrational fears?
i thought that the worst was behind
but these late 20’s have found a way to change my mind
i’m more scared than i’ve ever been
more deranged and neurotic than i thought possible
scared to leave my f+cking house
scared of even what i know to be impossible
the world has seemed so dark as of recent
i’ve lost hope and even my need to feel comfortably complacent
maybe it’s for the best and maybe it’ll motivate me and be to my advantage
and i’m past the point of rest
but, god, somehow i’ll have to find a way to manage

keeping myself in check has been my only goal
lost in thought wondering if i’m already dead has commandeered my need to feel whole
questioning every action that i take unsure if what i see is just an elaborate fake
i’m fragmented and shook
displaying my life on the pages of a book
my life for the world to see
but is it me they see
or just a persona of someone they hope to never be?

no remorse
i know my course
and i paid it forward
we only see
what we wanna see
like we’ve got a choice

gone and forgotten the simplicity of the old
my shattered youth hangs here even with nothing left to hold
hoping to reclaim what’s lost
hoping that it’s not too late to find what i’ve been looking for for all this time
maybe it’s a matter of passion as to when this is all over
i’ve watched friends die
and maybe i even held them under
drifting through days in search of a digital fix
contributing to nothing except this pit that i’ve done myself in
but i’m done chalking this up to bad luck
done feeling sorry for all that i’ve never done
i’ve gotta take my window while it’s here
enjoy these number of years
and choose to no longer live through fear

no remorse
i know my course
and i paid it forward

we only see
what we wanna see
like we’ve got a choice
i’m spiraling down
spiraling down
to the ground

- september stories lyrics

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