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sewer drain child - third grade dropout (bonus track lyrics

[verse 1]
the wisest person i ever met in my life
a third grade dropout
wisest and dropout in the same sentence
is rather oxymoronic
like jumbo shrimp
(audience laughing)
mhmm
(audience laughing)
like fun run
ain’t nothing fun about it
(audience laughing)
like microsoft works, y’all don’t hear me
(audience laughing)
i used to say i like country music
but i’ve lived in texas so long
i love country music now
(audience cheering)
yeah
i hunt, i fish, i have cowboy boots, and cowboy
y’all, i’m a black neck redneck
do you hear what i’m saying to you?
(audience laughing)
no longer oxymoronic for me to say country music
and it’s not oxymoronic for me to say
third grade and dropout
that third grade dropout
the wisest person i ever met in my life
who taught me to combine knowledge and wisdom
to make an impact
was my father
a simple cook
wisest man i ever met in my life
just a simple cook
left school in the third grade
to help out on the family farm
but just because he left school
doesn’t mean education stopped
mark twain once said
“i’ve never allowed my schooling
“to get in the way of my education.”
my father taught himself how to read
taught himself how to write
decided in the midst of jim crowism
as america was breathing the last gasp of the civil war
my father decided he was gonna stand and be a man
not a black man
not a brown man, not a white man
but a man
he literally challenged himself to be the best that he could
all the days of his life
i have four degrees
my brother is a judge
we’re not the smartest ones in our family
it’s a third grade dropout daddy
a third grade dropout daddy
who was quoting michelangelo, saying to us
“boys, i won’t have a problem if you aim high and miss
“but i’m gonna have a real issue
“if you aim low and hit.”
a country mother quoting henry ford, saying
“if you think you can or if you think you can’t
“you’re right.”
i learned that from a third grade drop, simple lessons
lessons like these
“son, you’d rather be an hour early
“than a minute late.”
we never knew what time it was at my house
’cause the clocks were always ahead
my mother said for nearly 30 years
my father left the house at 3:45 in the morning
one day she asked him, “why, daddy?”
he said, “maybe one of my boys
“will catch me in the act of excellence.”
i wanna share two things with you
aristotle said you are what you repeatedly do
therefore excellence ought to be a habit not an act
don’t ever forget that
i know you’re tough but always remember to be kind
always
don’t ever forget that
never embarr-ss momma
mhmm
(audience laughing)
yeah, if momma ain’t happy, ain’t n0body happy
if daddy ain’t happy, don’t n0body care but you know–
(audience laughing)
i tell you
next lesson
lesson from a cook over there in the galley
son, make sure your servant’s towel
is bigger than your ego
ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity
y’all might have a relative in mind
you wanna send that to
let me say it again
(audience laughing)
ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity
pride is the burden of a foolish person
john wooden coached basketball in ucla for a living
but his calling was to impact people
and with all those national championships
guess what he was found doing in the middle of the week?
going into the cupboard
grabbing a broom and sweeping his own gym floor
you wanna make an impact?
find your broom
every day of your life
you find your broom
you grow your influence that way
that way you’re attracting people
so that you can impact them
final lesson
“son
“you’re gonna do a job
“do it right.”
i’ve always been told
how average i can be
always been criticized about being average
but i wanna tell you something
i stand here before you
before all of these people
not listening to those words
but telling myself every single day
to shoot for the stars
to be the best that i can be
good enough isn’t good enough
if it can be better
and better isn’t good enough
if it can be best
let me close with a very personal story
that i think will bring all this into focus
wisdom will come to you in the unlikeliest of sources
a lot of times through failure
when you hit rock bottom remember this
while you’re struggling
rock bottom can also be a great foundation
on which to build
and on which to grow
i’m not worried that you’ll be successful
i’m worried that you won’t fail from time to time
a person that gets up off the canvas and keeps growing
that’s the person
that will continue to grow their influence
back in the ’70s
to help me make this point
let me introduce you to someone
i met the finest woman i’d ever met in my life
mhmm
(audience laughing)
back in my day, we’d have called her a brick house
(audience laughing)
this woman was the finest woman i’d ever seen in my life
there’s just one little problem
back then ladies didn’t like big old line men
the blindside hadn’t come out yet
(audience laughing)
they liked quarterbacks and running backs
we’re at this dance
and i find out her name is trina williams
from lompoc, california
and we were all dancing
and we’re just excited
and i decide in the middle of dancing with her
that i would ask her for her phone number
she, trina was the first one
trina was the only woman in college
who gave me her real telephone number
(audience laughing)
the next day we walked to baskin and robbins
ice cream parlor
my friends couldn’t believe it
this has been 40 years ago
and my friends still can’t believe it
(audience laughing)
we go on a second date
and a third date
and a fourth date
mhmm
(audience laughing)
we drive from chico to vallejo
so that she could meet my parents
my father meets her
my daddy, my hero, he meets her
pulls me to the side and says, “is she psycho?”
but anyway–
(audience laughing)
we go together for a year, two years
three years, four years
by now trina’s a senior in college
i’m still a freshman
but i’m working some things out
(audience laughing)
i’m so glad i graduated in four terms
nixon, ford, carter, reagan
(audience laughing)
so now it’s time to propose
so i talked to her girlfriends
and it’s california, it’s in the ’70s
so it has to be outside
have to have a candle and you have to have
some chocolate
listen, i’m from the hood
i had a bottle of boone’s farm wine
that’s what i had
(audience laughing)
she said yes!
that was the key
i married the most beautiful woman
i’d ever seen in my–
‘all ever been to a wedding
and even before the wedding starts you hear this
“how in the world?”
(audience laughing)
and it was coming from my side of the family!
(audience laughing)
we get married, we have a few children
our lives are great
one day trina finds a lump in her left breast
breast cancer
six years after that diagnosis
me and my two little boys walked up to mommy’s casket
and for two years my heart didn’t beat
if it wasn’t for my faith in god
i wouldn’t be standing here today
if it wasn’t for those two little boys
there’d have been no reason for which to go on
i was completely lost
that was rock bottom
you know what sustained me?
the wisdom of a third grade dropout
the wisdom of a simple cook
we’re at the casket
i’d never seen my dad cry
but this time i saw my dad cry
that was his daughter
trina was his daughter
not his daughter-in-law
and i’m right behind my father
about to see her for the last time on this earth
and my father shared three words with me
that changed my life right there at the casket
it would be the last lesson he would ever teach me
he said, “son
“just stand
“you keep standing
“you keep standing
“no matter how rough the sea, you keep standing
“and i’m not talking about just water
“you keep standing
“no matter what, you don’t give up.”
and as clearly as i’m talking to you today
these were some of her last words to me
she looked me in the eye and she said
“it doesn’t matter to me any longer how long i live
“what matters to me most
“is how i live.”
i ask you all one question
a question that i was asked all my life
by a third grade dropout
“how you livin’?
“how you livin’?”
everyday ask yourself that question
how you livin’?
here’s, here’s what a cook would suggest
you to live, this way
that you would not judge
that you would show up early
that you’d be kind
that you’d make sure that that servant’s towel
is huge and used
that if you’re gonna do something
you do it the right way
that cook would tell you this
that it’s never wrong to do the right thing
that how you do anything
is how you do everything
and in that way you will grow your influence
to make an impact
in that way you will honor all those
who have gone before you
who have invested in you
look in those unlikeliest places for wisdom
enhance your life every day by seeking that wisdom
and asking yourself every night
“how am i living?”
may god richly bless you all
thank you for having me

- sewer drain child lyrics

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