sex ed rex - jade the condom mermaid lyrics
ahoy!
look at the sea
not plastic free
i hate plastic
it’s barbaric
there is one plastic i’m fond of
it’s amazing, called a condom
i’m a head turning tail flipping mermaid
avast!
i got a atlantis degree as a nurse aid
avast!
i swim in the feral sea
i’m dolphin level carefree
i don’t want a std
easy fix use a rubber
i can use it with my iud
i’m not ready to be a mother
half of pregnancies are unplanned
use a condom to catch those swimmers
follow along so you understand
98 percent success, you’ll be winners
store them in a cool dry sp-ce
sun and heat are plastic k!llers
gently remove from the wrapper, ace
don’t open with harpoons or scissors
check for tears and damage, if so replace
don’t unroll before putting it on, it’s toast
have fun with lube, water based
don’t reuse condoms, that’s gross
i swim in the fun sea
i’m condom using carefree
before you plug a hole
pinch the tip and roll
love glove covers it whole
no air in with the pole
if inked and it’s inside out get a new one
you can’t flip it back and use the same one
don’t take it off until the sea cuc-mber’s done
when s-m-n is in the rubber jumper stop the fun
i’m a head turning tail flipping mermaid
avast!
i got a atlantis degree as a nurse aid
avast!
i swim in the feral sea
i’m dolphin level carefree
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