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sex havers - thirty days trapped at sea lyrics

entry 1: this is the journal of the great captain edward wormbeard. me and my crew have become stranded on a deserted island after our ship was hit by what felt like the might of moby d+ck herself. i have told fishboy to keep an eye out for any passing ships. i told randy to sit tight and wait, i can’t imagine that old mute hag being of any use for us yet. edgar is supposed to get a shelter going, but he hasn’t stopped shaking and crying. i told madam marianne pearl to catch us some grub for the night so we don’t go bl++dy hungry, but she hasn’t seemed successful. i will continue writing еntries in this journal until we can get off this bl++dy island. for now i will try to gеt a fire going

entry 2: it is now the morning of the second day. surprisingly enough, edgar proved himself useful and made a decently comfortable shelter. unfortunately we were not able to eat because marianne pearl couldn’t catch any grub. she keeps going on and on about her buffoon wealthy husband who she “misses oh so much”. if she keeps this up we might just have to eat her instead. when i awoke this morning randy was missing, fishboy said he started walking along the shore. i’m sure he’s trying to map out the land. the sky is awfully dark today, its rather sinister. fishboy suspects rain is coming

entry 3: last night was a rough one. there was a huge downpour, our shelter was almost swept away. we have deemed this treacherous island “terrible island”. randy came back with a mostly charted shape of the island. frankly, i’m impressed given the old codger’s age. marianne pearl finally stopped whining about her good for nothing husband and caught us some grub. unfortunately, it was some strange orange jellyfish. we tried roasting it over a fire, and it seemed edible enough. unfortunately, the taste was beyond foul. do not eat this even if you are dying

entry 4: edgar has started digging in the side of a hill to make us a more stable shelter. frankly i’m impressed considering the condition of his peg leg. i wonder how he really lost that leg anyways. he claims some “underwater man wielding a silver blade” hacked it off. what a bl++dy lunatic. it hurts my heart to see him using pieces of wood from the ship. my poor baby. however, what must be done must be done. she’s seen her end

entry 5: woke up in the middle of my rest to hear randy screaming. i feel bad for the old man. they call him “ravaged randy” due to the fact that he’s missing an eye and his tongue. i heard the tongue was taken as punishment for him speaking “the forbidden name”. pirates code clearly says “if ye speak its name ye lose ye tongue. if ye write it down ye lose ye hands”. who knows what he was thinking, old b+st+rd. anyhow, i am happy to report edgar really pulled through with this shelter. our chances of survival really seem to be improving. i just wish the lad would stop weeping. we’re all in this together, he has no excuse to whine and sulk. reminds me of that b+tch marianne pearl. she’s still whining about her worthless husband. to h+ll with her

entry 6: first meal of the day! hopefully not the last! marianne pearl caught us one bl++dy salmon. one. how the h+ll are 5 people supposed to live off of one salmon. fishboy’s only 14 so he gets the smallest cut. marianne doesn’t need much either. randy doesn’t have a tongue to argue against it, so he’ll also be getting a smaller cut. me and edgar are the only ones doing anything around here. i’ll cut off a small piece of the fish for the other 3 to share. me and edgar are eating good today!

entry 7: last night, randy got so p+ssed off by his cut of salmon that he scurried into the forest to help himself to a meal. when i awoke today that ungrateful selfish b+st+rd came back with the corpse of a whole wolverine and refused to share with any of us. the meat smelled so d+mn good. i hope that codger keels over and dies. anyways, edgar has started writing delusional ill+strations in the sand. what has gotten into that boy

entry 8: i awoke in the middle of the night to strange sounds coming from outside of the shelter. like a rough, ho+rs+, breathing. whatever that was has me worried. today we delightfully dined on fresh coconuts from these really tall trees. fishboy is surprisingly a great climber! i’m honestly glad he tried stealing from me. boy has proven himself worth something. if we get off this d+mn island, maybe i’ll let him go free

entry 9: marianne tried to cook another meal for us today and i have no idea what this b+tch is doing. i’m not even sure what kind of animal this is. my best guess is that it is some sort of crab phallus, but i’m not too sure. as i am the most important person here, i will be taking half of this thing for myself and giving the other half to the crew for them to share. after breakfast edgar departed in order to look for materials, likely to improve the shelter. he’s a hard worker, that one

entry 10: woke up to marianne saying something. when i listened in i realized she was writing poems about her c+nt husband and reading them out loud. at dawn. so f+cking early. i seriously think we should eat her. anyhow, fishboy came to me and seemed concerned. when i asked what the issue was he said he thought he saw about a dozen figures peeking at him from behind the trees. i’m sure he’s just seeing things. kids and their imaginations. randy once again skipped a meal. i’m pretty sure he’s just hunting and gathering in secret to avoid marianne’s dubious dishes. i’m also quite worried about edgar, normally the lad isn’t out this long. i’m sure he’s fine

entry 11: i swear i heard whispers. whispers from the trees. i don’t know what they were saying but i know i heard them. n0body else heard it. they’re lying to me. they’re scared and they’re lying. we decided to repurpose the mast and turn it into a sort of lookout tower for fishboy. i told fishboy to let me know if he sees anything strange. after yet another horrid meal, randy and i decided that tomorrow morning we will go looking for edgar. his absence is increasingly concerning

entry 12: me and randy went to go looking for edgar. we found him. he’s dead. he was buried in the sand missing his eyes and tongue. we don’t know how long he’s been dead but it f+cking stinks. that’s the only reason we were able to find him. when we got back to our campsite to tell fishboy and marianne we found them huddled together in the shelter. they were freaking out and claimed they saw those same dozen figures behind the trees. maybe fishboy wasn’t losing his mind, or maybe marianne has joined him in said insanity. who knows. we’ve decided to build a st+rdier door to block the entrance while we sleep. this sh+t is getting weird

entry 13: marianne made food once again, i decided not to have any. since what i saw happened to edgar i haven’t been able to stomach an appetite. i spent most of the day sitting at the top of the watchtower looking at the trees. when the sun started setting i saw what i think were the figures mentioned. i’m honestly terrified. i don’t know if i’m losing my mind, but i swear one of them resembled edgar. the resemblance was terrifying. i don’t know if i’ll be able to sleep tonight. i haven’t told anyone else in order to spare them of this feeling. if they don’t sleep they can’t work
entry 14: in the brief moments of sleep i managed to get i had a terrible dream. i was looking for food in the woods or something akin to that when i was attacked by some half ape half bird beast. it ripped me apart while i was still alive and then i woke up. on a brighter note, randy’s map is almost complete. he just has to do one last trip into the deeper parts of the woods. i wish him luck

entry 15: marianne fell ill it appears. it doesn’t seem to be too serious, she just said her stomach was really bothering her. randy left as well this morning. fishboy and i decided to look for food. on our expedition we found a cave, we thought maybe some animals would be there or something. on the walls i saw something terrifying. it was a depiction of that f+cking monkey bird. the same one i dreamed about. what the f+ck. on a more positive note we managed to k!ll a couple strange rabbits. they had varying amounts of ears, but we just kinda shrugged it off. when we got back marianne was feeling better. while we were cooking fishboy pointed out that someone was coming out of the treeline. it was randy. the poor b+st+rd had a gnarly scratch on his face. it looked like he got clawed by a massive f+cking bear. jesus christ. good news though, the map was complete!

entry 16: we tried asking randy to write a description of what injured him. he’s just been groaning and yelling in response. i don’t think he can see that well either. the claw marks go right over his good eye, which at this point seems to be losing color. if i have to care for this old oaf i’ll be p+ssed. marianne can be the one to help him eat & sh+t. though i must admit, seeing the old man like this hurts my heart. hopefully we can make it out of this

entry 17: marianne finally might have this fishing thing down. like really down. like, too down. she caught a f+cking dolphin. i told her to cut some up and make a soup for randy. she has to feed it to him. poor b+st+rd can’t even see anymore, and it looks like his wound is starting to get infected. we don’t have anything we can use to patch it up. we just gotta hope he can fight it. anyways, that dolphin meat might have been the best thing we’ve eaten. maybe the b+tch is finally making herself useful

entry 18: in the middle of the night i heard what sounded like a large crowd of people yelling in the distance. me and fishboy decided to head towards where the sound came from. we found ourselves in an open field scattered with stone statues of people raising their arms to the sky and shouting. what the f+ck is going on with this island. we managed to k!ll some racoon shaped creature. it was striped black and white like some tiger, though. the meat tasted great, that’s all that really matters

entry 19: i can’t f+cking believe this happened. marianne is dead. or at least we think she is. she was out fishing as usual, we saw her and decided to make fun of her. just some simple banter. before she could clap back at our witty insults it looked like something came out of the sand, grabbed onto her ankles, and then pulled her under instantly. if we blinked we could have missed it. we’ve been digging for hours but we can’t f+cking find her. we think she’s dead. there’s just no way she could still be alive. things are going so terrible for us. randy’s wound is getting even worse. p+ss is forming inside of it and it is beginning to shift to a disgusting green hue

entry 20: i can’t believe i’m stuck here with a 14 year old kid and some dying old man. this is a f+cking nightmare. it’s like fate itself struck us down and brought us into the worst scenario possible. i’ve tried all my life to do good by the pirate’s code but perhaps we’ve been misguided. perhaps some deity is angry with us. i don’t know what we did to deserve this. i’ve prayed to every god that i can imagine could save us, but it appears my cries have gone unheard

entry 21: fishboy has done well to keep me sane. i really am glad to have the kid here with me. randy is getting even worse. he’s still breathing but he’s barely responsive. he’s refusing food as well. this really isn’t looking good for the old man. i swear i’ve still been seeing those figures watching us. it doesn’t even bother me anymore

entry 22: we’ve got a pretty solid workflow going on now. fishboy hunts for some meat while i gather fruits & vegetables. we’ve been making stew together, and i feel really close to the kid. he kinda feels like a son to me at this point. he’s also been checking in on randy, but its really not looking good. at this point we’ve basically accepted that he’s not gonna make it. sometimes i still hear the statues calling towards the sky. it sounds like a choir. the figures still look at us too, but it’s honestly kinda comforting now. like we’re not alone

entry 23: randy has passed away. we found him dead in the shelter foaming at the mouth. we should’ve put the poor b+st+rd out of his misery sooner. since his passing we’ve used pieces of him as bait to lure in animals and fish. it’s been working very well, though it feels rather cruel. it’s just me and fishboy now. hopefully we’ll make it out of this. i think there might still be hope for us

entry 24: me and fishboy have started plans to make a boat. we think waiting for rescue isn’t the move anymore, and since its just us two it should be easy to make a boat we can use. we’ll harvest what we can from the old ship and the forest. i think we’ll be able to get out of here soon

entry 25: we managed to build a fully working raft. this is incredible. unfortunately a storm came in as we finished building it, so we’ll have to wait to depart. i really am so glad to have the company of fishboy. he’s a great kid and after all that we’ve been to together he really feels like a son to me. he’s done a good job of keeping me sane as well. i’ve been seeing my family members in the distance, and i’ve heard their voices. fishboy has comforted me and told me that it was just in my head and that he neither saw nor heard anything. i guess i’m hallucinating things. i can’t wait to get out of here

entry 26: that’s odd. it’s the night of the 26th day and the rain still hasn’t stopped. if anything it has become more aggressive. i think our raft was damaged as well. we’re just gonna eat the supply of fruits we have in here and wait it out
entry 27: when i woke up the rain was still pouring but it was a lot calmer than it was yesterday. we’ve been working extra hard today to make sure we have the materials to repair our raft when the storm passes. we also managed to catch some fish that we’ll be eating for the next few days. it might be hard to get good rest tonight because my skin has been really irritated since the afternoon. it feels like a bad rash

entry 28: i am broken. fishboy is dead. i watched it happen. we were out working. the storm hadn’t passed yet. as i was working i noticed the burning on my skin felt even worse than it did before, and it was getting worse. i asked fishboy if he was feeling the same but he said he could still work. i went inside to catch a break. after 5 minutes i heard fishboy yelling in pain. i looked out the door and he was running towards the shelter, bleeding. there was steam coming off of his body as he ran. he was telling me not to come out and that it was burning extremely badly. he got about 10 feet away from the entrance when the flesh started falling away from his bones. my beloved son melted before my eyes. our raft was completely melted, as well as the wood from our ship. the trees seemed to be melting as well. i don’t know what to do. is any of this real? i’ve been praying that this is all some bad dream for hours now. i’ve scratched the skin from my arms to see if i was dreaming. it hurts. i’m awake

entry 29: without him my link to reality is gone. i keep hearing people talking to me. my family members comfort me. when i close my eyes i feel their hands touch my shoulders. my entire body still burns. i hear voices mocking me. i hear fishboy’s voice. i must remember the pirate’s code. how does it go again? i mustn’t forget

entry 30: all is lost. i am out of food, out of bait, and most importantly the pirate’s code has completely eluded my mind. i can still hear fishboy. he yells at me. he tells me i failed him. that i failed randy, marianne, and edgar. if i never set out on this voyage i never would have ended up here. there is nothing i can do. there is no god to save me. i am nothing

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