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shade apollo - before i became the reaper, i was tempted by death lyrics

losin myself, like where the f+ck am i goin
lookin in the mirror, i ain’t even sure if i know him
i ain’t even sure if i
escape the maze then i’m caged
it’s back to the same old sh+t again
one moment i’m on top of the world
the darkness hits then i feel like i can never be rid of it
sometimes the beat feel like my only friend
so when my progress meets a dead end, i tend to descend
into a dark, unforgivin, and most shadowy bend
so that smile you’re seein is probably pretend
the life of a starved artist
who depends on his pen to defend himself from the darkness that lies within
and fend off the ghosts that often postpone my hope
i’m broken, tryna pick up the pieces, like where the f+ck they go
slowly overtaken by my woes
flirtin with death but when i flow, i feel the need to take it slow
ironic ’cause that’s when i start to give a f+ck and get my ducks in a row again
see every now and then, i transcend the abyss
learn to live in bliss but then that class is dismissed
pursuin happiness then it’s
back to the end
of the waitin list, i’m hatin this life
the brightest days keep feelin like night
pullin myself closer to the reaper’s scythe
but when i grip the mic, that sliver of light proceeds to shine
so when i feel like nothing’s left, i look to the pen to make it right
look that grim motherf+cker in the eye
tell him take a hike, it ain’t my time
i’m clearly conflicted and it’s evident in these lines
that maybe i’m relyin too much on these rhymes
but sh+t, this is more than just a pastime
this that sh+t that gimme purpose
without it, time is just sand in a glass that pass by
but with this music, my demons could never ever ever ever ever ever ever outlast i

i’m lost in my thoughts
i’m too often feelin fraught
tryna think happy thoughts
just reminds me what i’m not
i feel like john constantine
all these demons i have fought
i’m pursuin happiness, they actin like it’s somethin that is bought
but it’s not, they say it depends on where you shop
that cannot be the case
it is not that f+ckin simple for the pain to be erased
i miss the good ol’ days
sometimes i wish i could retrace my steps
back to my youth but i can’t
so i’mma try my best to progress everyday
f+ck bein depressed, i’mma lay
these thoughts up on a page
stage an attack on this darkness and watch it fade away
i found my way up out the cage

- shade apollo lyrics

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