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shady boy (el monte) - so i say goodbye lyrics

[intro]
and so i say goodbye

[verse]
when the needle leaves my vein
that’s why my heart hurts
my life’s wrapped around the block
like a starburst
i can’t seem to find love
hate is all my heart harbors
i embark through the dark
till the day of my departure
i love drugs but wonder what’s love
haunted by tough love and some harsh words
grew up rough and rugged
off free lunch that the park serve
yo tell me can i still die a legend
underestimated
i waited longer than my momma did for section 8, hey
hip hop is really dead
or someone excavates it
my homies bodies desecrated
mommas devastated
the sh+t is reciprocated to commemorate em
so i don’t gotta ask god
how come i never made it
and i am not a rapper
these are facts
so keep me separated
i’m a product of what stolen life could generated
i come from where it’s dissilis
so hope is dissipated
i was manipulated by the sound of pistol cadence
close my eyes and see the eyes of those obliterated
souls long forgotten as our neighborhood proliferated
what was once a kind heart been eviscerated
what wasn’t liquidated be refrigerated
can’t see clear through the tears
cause my world so f+cking pixelated
i can’t articulate the fact i can’t get situated
i wrote this sh+t so faded
my mission statement
before my life is taken
cause my deaths antic+p+ted
dawg i been waiting
cause it’s a cold game
and i don’t need
bullets have no name
man you out like a choke chain
those wore bling
in this war paint
where saints meet their doom
ain’t no room for the ordained
but i still pray
more rain leaves more drained
i suffer softly
blood shed mixed with growing pains
blood stains on my skin like some rogain
hard in my heart just like arm n hammer cocaine
i’ll probably never change
not for fame or the dope game
and in my mind i’m the king
of this hill, no propane
in my heart i’m a peasant
wish a legend i will perish
blessings no longer present
so my pain just has no merit
devil mocks me like a parrot
i see familiar spirits
memories i dream to cherish
wear it through my appearance
cause shots of broken dreams
my homes filled with broken things
i wonder hopelessly
if i’m immune to dopamine
i know what hopeless means
wear the crown of broken kings
hope it seeps, my heart gon freeze
i beg for death to notice me
i ain’t gon b+tch
i just switch to chase some blue faces
and now i’m on the run for a few cases
wish the block was adjacent to my hiding places
police trying to play me
so they raid me cause they’re hiding aces
just like hard times i’m a last long
in case i don’t tho i’m a spit this like my last song
and my son probably wondering why their dads gone
what would i say if i could speak before i passed on
i know i let you down son
let me explain
something like a heart attack
here comes my chest pain
xavier james i miss the days of being your baseball coach
nowadays i hit n run the way the baseball goes
life stole my smile
it’s like my face all froze
and i can’t seem to stay clean
just like your baseball clothes
i fear one day you’ll see your father in another man
if you call me by my name instead of dad
i would understand
caught up in the streets
and i let you down
now i drink my memories
and the streets just let me drown
so now i say goodbye
gang unit played me
my poor baby’s gotta suffer
f+ck i hope they never hate me

- shady boy el monte lyrics

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