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shailen - october's burden lyrics

[verse 1]
mellow my tone stress exposed
withering prims on every rose
the whip it got a candy coat
but what’s it matter if i drive alone
my mind wonders should i let it doze?
lungs thick fill em’ up with smoke
music block i can’t make a song
time is ticking and my f+ckin’ throat is closed
bedridden, weeks straight n+gga, my health is on the mothaf+ckin’ decline
you haven’t dropped in months n+gga what the f+ck you a fraud and we all realize
and forget about graduation all that money for tuition
you ain’t make the most of it?
you alone in this b+tch
always trying to go home and sh+t
you haven’t spoken to ya’ n+ggas in minutes
all bеcause you was just chasing them units
music ain’t workin’ n+gga you diminished
and you at a school that you won’t еven finish
affirmative action got you this position
that’s what they with the strongest conviction
so you got cousins locked up in the system
while you at home all alone wasting your privilege
i hate to admit it but this year i got lost in all my addictions
nicotine choking my veins
smoking all weekend and plus i am sick
feeling so drained, hiding this pain
heartbreak taking tolls on me
there’s some comfort in this sadness
using self destructive habits
only way that i can manage
[verse 2]
wake up and feel like a burden
my impact on people abhorrent
existing my biggest disservice
for once can i feel like i’m worth it
every girl that i have been with
green texts signifying they hurting
always guarding my emotions
dousing fires that’ll always keep burning
i’m sorry + + +
having a little trouble letting go of you
i dragged it on to long
and now just like all of my exes you’re sick of me
but look i’m still so in love with you
but we’d never work that’s the hardest truth
my throat closing losing volume
emotions rollercoastin’, urges volatile
antibiotics k!lling all the molecules
steroid pills for the swelling
but its my mental that needs all the healing
loving myself hasn’t been in the cards
will i get through and beat all of my odds
where’s my victory? my round of applause?
my moment? my purpose? my cause?
laying in bed, face to face with the mirror i see all of my reflections
those around me hear it in my inflection
i think i got depression

- shailen lyrics

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