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shaolinn - heavy heart lyrics

[chorus]
i always had a heavy heart
i always had a rough start
i always had a ride or die
but i never tried to take the time
to tell them that i love ’em so
even when they’re walking out the door
if i just told ’em how i really felt
i wouldn’t have a heavy soul

[verse 1]
back in high school, i used to get bullied for my shoes
they said i wasn’t straight enough to dress how you usually do
i was so insecure, i had to make sure my wrists were covered, too
and when i looked in the mirror, i saw my crookеd t++th
i always questioned, “why would someonе want a girl that look like me?”
i had no ass, no titties to bounce ’em up and down
and when i walked down the halls, i wish i never was found
but i know i had control
i just never know how to take control
i bottled up inside until it took a toll on relationships
i know that it was wrong
i had people that were there, pretended that they cared
but a part of me still wants the love we used to share
even if they’re not here
even if i’m not there
[chorus]
i always had a heavy heart
i always had a rough start
i always had a ride or die
but i never tried to take the time
to tell them that i love ’em so
even when they’re walking out the door
if i just told ’em how i really felt
i wouldn’t have a heavy soul

[verse 2]
and all the anger i used to bottle up inside
i take it out on others, it happened all the time
a victim and abuser inside my state of mind
everyone had to know i wasn’t feeling right
my mama’s anger, brother’s hatred
lover’s stares, strangers’ judgements
made me feel like i was alone
made me feel like i was alone
but i know i own all my problems, control
no one’s fault but my own
i need to learn, let go
maybe i’ll find some peace awake
or in my sleep
i just want to be free
i just want to be free
[chorus]
i always had a heavy heart
i always had a rough start
i always had a ride or die
but i never tried to take the time
to tell them that i love ’em so
even when they’re walking out the door
if i just told ’em how i really felt
i wouldn’t have a heavy soul

- shaolinn lyrics

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