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shawn lov - liquor story lyrics

[intro]
h-llo boys and girls out in tv land
this your ship captain speaking lov dr. jones
bringing you my liquor story
it’s an oldie but goody
alright you kids get to bed and i’ll get the storybook
y’all tucked in? here we go

[verse 1]
well i used to have a bud named weiser
i used to chill with him
he wasn’t home so i called up killian
to find out if killian was home alone-a
but he was with this mexican dude named corona
i asked corona what was going on
jack daniels is having a party at boone’s farm
located right next to sutter home
so we finished the directions and i hung up the phone
hey yo the first girl i met was a gold-digger named goldschlager
she was sittin’ next to absolut vodka
who had two sisters named ginger and peach
but they was with they pimp brandy having s-x on the beach
anyway i b-mped into e&j he gave me shots to the throat
so i chased him down with c-ke
at the sight of him i wanted him dead
i rushed at him like a mad dog like my name was banana red
i turned around to check out who was in back of me
it was my homegirl strawberry daquiri
she introduced me to her cousin from long island named iced tea
they said they friend puerto rican rum liked me
i said i’m sorry baby but i dont even speak ya language
all i speak is olde english
anyway i probably should’ve slept with sober
cuz’ the next day i woke up with this girl named hangover

[chorus]
pour order some more
drink until your drunk enough to fall on the floor
ya gotta pour order some more
drink until your drunk enough to fall on the floor
let’s pour order some more
drink until your drunk enough to fall on the floor
ya gotta pour order some more
take one last trip to the old liquor store

[verse 2]
when i woke up the next morning i was p-ssed
i was already running late for my date for breakfast with martini with a twist
i put on my shirt with the red stripe
last night when i saw my bed i just hit it like a lead pipe
somebodies knocked at my door, whats all the racket man?
i saw these two figures outside my bedroom window they were black and tan
it was these cats around the way named rum and c-ke
always coming around to my crib acting ill and dumb and broke
but rum’s girl kinda likes me though i didn’t want to steal her
i’m not looking for a relationship i just wants to kill her
booty was nice and thick figured i’d head over to her place
i grabbed my jim-hats, my keys, and my license quick
she was a white russian i closed my door
as i’m fantasizing about hitting sweety with an -rg-sm
cuz’ when i kill her poonie i’m the one with killer right
honey was special not your average run of the miller light
eyes sparkle she invited me in
to move this kami-kaz’ we juices runnin’ down my chin
suckin’ on her b-ttery nipples
she asked if we could move this over to the bedroom
and i was like, what are we crippled?
suddenly i heard a knock on the door i stopped kissing her fuzzy navel
and dropped my humungous c-ck on the floor
pigs busted in had their guns pulled
grabbed me by my left nut and i was like uncle, uncle, uncle!
didn’t like how the cats operated
5-0 wrote me out a ticket for rhyming while intoxicated

- shawn lov lyrics

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