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shawnyboy - loveless 2 (but i keep running back to my pain) lyrics

[intro]
does it make you happy?
(what?)
that she’s happy, but you’re not?
(that’s, um)
did writing that song make you feel happy?
when she bearly gave you a reaction after hearing it
(i don’t know)
are you sure you’re really happy for her?
you should stop while you’re behind
(but i…)
she’s not the one that keeps running back to pain here
you are

[verse 1]
i choke on your heartbeat
every moment just deleting around me
depression is waist deep
i’m a recluse and do not want anyone round me
but i want you round me
but nowadays you are not nowhere around
that’s even when you come and visit in town
maybe cause in part 1 i let it all out like, aye
maybe should’ve kept it on the low tho, aye
still feel depressed i don’t know tho, aye
still stay you hurt but i know tho, aye
you ain’t the only one hurting oh no, aye
my life is depressed and i’m on the edge though, aye
i wishing for someone to make the pain go, aye
but you won’t pick up because he’s all on ya
i’m guessing this month he’s doing no wrong, aye
and i’m only minutes away from just ending it all from this life filled with pain
then you calling me up and you sending me strength
but i fall in your heart and you leave me to stray
that is my fault cause i push you away when i push you to stay but you pushing his way
and i’m just pushing you pushing him pushing me
that is just pushing me off of the edge

[hook]
loving you is
loving you is
k!lling me
k!lling me
k!lling me
loving you is
loving you is
loving you is
k!lling me
k!lling me
k!lling me
loving you is
loving you is
loving you is

[verse 2]
i choke on my heartbeat
every moment is just coming right back
and its keeping me up like an insomniac
i’m doing bad, maybe because its that i’m doing bad
with cuts and a scratch
wishing hoping praying i get you bad
and i don’t even pray but i’m feeling tapped, like aye
i’m losing out all of humaneness, aye
i’m losing out all of my saneness, aye
i’m losing out losing you
cannot get through to you
now i’m just stuck with this pain here
my heart is a temple that’s aging
and i feel like you went and defaced it
i feel like i’m fading
i’m trying to leave like the way that you go and just fade this
i guess i should switch all my plans
fall outta love and find me a woman
someone who don’t wanna take trips to j-pan
don’t watch anime or could listen to bands
or never be there
remember last year cause you were right here
when i was going through it with my pops
really hoping that my life would just stop
you saved me a lot
now how can it all ever stop
replace my hope til my heartbeat dissolve
you are my goal let my heart be involve
let it emote manifest and evolve
(it evolve)
and there’s no worth unless it’s hard
and you are the core in my heart
cause i never giving up on the loving even through rough and the tough taking the pain and keep fighting what you loving for

[hook]
loving you is
loving you is
k!lling me
k!lling me
k!lling me
loving you is
loving you is
loving you is
k!lling me
k!lling me
k!lling me
loving you is
loving you is
loving you is

[outro]
i never kept it on the low
but having these feelings depression is coming slow
and you say you hurting but how could i ever know
cause i’m loving you but you running back to his home
loving you is k!lling me
loving you is k!lling me
loving you is k!lling me
loving you is k!ll k!ll k!ll k!ll

- shawnyboy lyrics

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