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shel silverstein - fuck 'em lyrics

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(take number one: “fornicate them.”)

i’m all strung-out, my money’s spent
can’t really tell ya’ where last year went
but i’ve given up paying my bills for lent
my landlord, he says he wants his rent
f-ck ’em!

hey, now, the women they come, the women they go
the hens start to cackle when the c-ck starts to crow
h-ll, i take ’em in when the warm winds blow
but i boot ’em in the -ss once it starts to snow
’cause f-ck them!

yeah, got a letter from my folks, and they say they’re in debt
they say that things are as bad as they can possibly get
you know, i haven’t answered that letter yet
i might use it to light my cigarette
’cause f-ck them!
what’d they ever do for me anyway? threw me outta the house when i was twenty-nine years old and cut off my allowance
f-ck ’em!

hey, a woman come around and handed me a line
about a lot of little orphan kids sufferin’ and dyin’
sh-t, i give her a quarter, cause one of ’em might be mine
the rest of those b-st-rds can keep right on cryin’
i mean, f-ck kids!
throw up on your shoulder, p-ss in your lap, never give you nothing
f-ck ’em!

i had a fight last night with a big lumberjack
i spent most of the fight laying flat on my back
you know he beat me up fair, and that’s a fact
but i busted his head as soon as he turned his back
’cause f-ck fair fighting!

yeah
you know, my junkie buddy got the shakes again
he give me five bucks and sent me out in the rain
i’m supposed to bring back something to k!ll his pain, oh
sh-t, i took the bread and i jumped on a train
cause f-ck junkies!
menace to society, break into your house, steal your tv set and go p-wn it, and stick up gas stations, then wanna get rehabilitated right next-door to you
f-ck them!

hey, i caught a cold, i’m chilled and wet
and i’m coughing blood, and i’m short of breath
and at the foot of my bed sits old man death
he says: ” hey shel, ” he says, ” ain’t you ready to go yet?”
and, i says: (loud, protracted coughing)
” you’re the devil’s favorite pet! ”
and, i says: (coughing)
“he’s waitin’ for ya…”
(coughing)
and, you’re late…”

and i says…
f-ck him! let the mother wait!
i got things i ain’t done yet , bills i haven’t not paid, i got people i ain’t back-talked, i got chicks i haven’t knocked up and left yet
i got things to do!
places to go!
people to do!

how’s that?

- shel silverstein lyrics

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