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she's standing there, witnessing self-destruction - winter nihil lyrics lyrics

i try to keep to myself the tremendous amount of suffering i consume everyday
it’s like everyone i stare in the eyes is stripping my soul and eating my secrets
all i can ask for is to be seen as a girl
lately i’ve been drowning in hate speech about myself, wishing to be something better in my life, wishing to do something better in my life. but i just stare
stare at the face of strangers, stare at my skin waiting for it to fall apart and transform me into a petite gorgeous woman that i always meant to be i’m sorry mother, the eyes of disappointment that you share with me are indescribable
and just with that, i consume the suffering even more creating scars among my thighs
you really don’t know all the sleepless nights staring at the ceiling with the only goal of cutting my veins apart and breathe for one last time, forgetting the disappointment and failure i am i’m sorry henry, i couldn’t live to your expectations i’m sorry philip, i couldn’t work on myself and just like that, i’ disappear into the woods, and become the wind that howls between the trees

- shes standing there witnessing self destruction lyrics

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