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shortpants romance - dish it out lyrics

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i’ve got a pen, i’ve got a check book
you’ve got a hand that now looks like a hook
go buy a fridge and buy some magnets
to spell out all your crossroad blues
buy a lampshade and a three+legged table
a persian cat who’ll purr for you to fill his bowl
and who won’t crawl under your table
‘cause that’s where caïn once left abel
talk me into getting you a pair of ice skates
a pocket mirror and a pair of shades
and plastic food and blunt+edged cutlery
to feed your ego and sharpen your agony
and buy a hat, it might come in handy
the weatherman has had one too many
keep your receipts, they’ll come in handy
they’re short of coal on the steamboat of modesty



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