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shoshin noel - personal_disaster lyrics

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i breathe the air in, it’s tasting of nostalgia
got this far without a happy ever after
there’s not a moment that’ll pass without becoming a rough patch
so in the end it doesn’t even matter

and the shiver down my back still comes in waves
i remember all the shows that i used to play
my spirit’s telling is i’m destined for the stage
am i yearning for something that’ll never enter the light of day?

so i try and then i try again
and if the car i’m driving breaks, then i’ll catch a train
i’ve adapted and sustainеd every possible way
so that’s why no onе’s even close to my lane
that’s why you don’t want a dose of my pain
you’ll end up looking like you’ve seen a f+cking ghost in your face
i’m emaciated most of my days
so now i’m hungry i’m devouring the prey in my way
i need my 5 a day, safe

so why you looking at is like i’ve got the answers?
i’m just a person and i’m hurt, i’m not an actor
i’m not a perfect example or an ordained pastor
i’m just speaking on my personal disaster

why you looking at is like i’ve got the answers?
i’m just a person and i’m hurt, i’m not an actor
i’m not a perfect example or an ordained pastor
i’m just speaking on my personal disaster, ya bastaaaard

disaster ya baaastaaaaaaard
ya bastaaaard
ya b+st+rd (lol)

so this is how i process this sh+t
i soak up all the trauma, then i throw it in the bin
because of this i barely feel attached to anything
so once i’m done this song, i’ll burn the f+cking book i wrote it in

i think my vertebrae are breaking from the weight i’m taking
that’s bad vibrations, the way my condition’s left is shaking
i never really had a foundation
the ground beneath my feet just breaks away
when i step out onto the pavement

you all respect the wrong f+cking people
‘cus on your insta feed celebrities and god are equal
there’s people all around you that are worthy of praise
but you cannot see their face behind your phone screen

you’re so disconnected. you’re co+dependent
you’re so entitled ‘cus you haven’t been tested
when you see the side of life that leaves you close to death
i guarantee you’ll see the world a different way
we know you’re fake. stop pretending

so why you looking at is like i’ve got the answers?
i’m just a person and i’m hurt, i’m not an actor
i’m not a perfect example or an ordained pastor
i’m just speaking on my personal disaster

why you looking at is like i’ve got the answers?
i’m just a person and i’m hurt, i’m not an actor
i’m not a perfect example or an ordained pastor
i’m just speaking on my personal disaster, ya b+st+rd

y+y+ya b+st+rd
y+y+ya b+st+rd

- shoshin noel lyrics

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