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shrek - story of my life lyrics

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[guard]
(spoken)
alright, when i call your name step forward. pinocchio, the puppet.

[pinocchio]
(spoken)
i’m not a puppet i’m a real boy.
(nose grows and he laughs)

[guard]
(spoken)
that’s your patch of mud down there.

[pinocchio]
(spoken)
oh, dopped on a swamp. man, i tell you sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap.

[pinocchio]
life is disappointing,
whoa is what i know.
outted by my nose,
that’s just how it goes,
for poor pinocchio.
story of my life,
always doomed to fail.
cheated by a fox,
swallowed by a whale.
that’s the story of my life, oh yeah,
that’s the story of my life.

[shoemaker’s elf]
strife is never ending.

[guard]
(spoken)
peter pan!

[peter pan]
banished from the town

[guard]
(spoken)
ugly duckling!

[ugly duckling]
they dragged me from the pond.

[fairy godmother]
they pulled my magic wand.

[the three little pigs]
they blew our condos down.

[guard]
(spoken)
wicked witch!

[wicked witch]
life is but a witch hunt.

[mama bear]
mama’s in the mud,
mama’s in distress.

[garden gnome]
they ridiculed my hat.

[three little pigs]
they said that we were fat.

[big bad wolf]
they tore my cotton granny dress,
and called me a hot and tranny mess.

[guard]
(spoken)
sugar plum fairy!

[all]
story of my life.
booted from ball
told to go away.

[humpty dumpty]
tumbled off a wall

[all]
that’s the story of my life.

[guard]
(spoken)
you’re late rabbit.

[white rabbit]
that’s the story of my life.

[guard]
(spoken)
have fun you guys

[all]
that’s the story of my life.

[guard]
(spoken)
and remember if we find you back in the kingdom you will be executed.

[all]
i always dreamed i’d get a happy ending.

[wicked witch]
and this right here,
not how it goes.

[all]
i always dreamed i’d get an ever after.
if this is it,
it blows (x3)

[pinocchio]
(spoken)
this is worse than that case of dutch elm disease i caught in tijuana.

[all]
story of my life,
all the wasted prayers.
all the broken dreams.

[the three bears]
all the broken chairs.

[all]
all the damage done

[the three bears]
all the busted beds.

[all]
all the shattered falls

[the three bears]
pourage on our heads.

[all]
that’s the story of my life, yes sir.
that’s the story of my life, oi vei.
that’s the story of my,
life

[pinocchio]
(spoken)
cr-p!

- shrek lyrics

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