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sickly sid - first man lyrics

[verse 1]
the last time i got personal on a record, i got embarrassed
on my debut i was really just spitting out feelings careless
i didn’t know how unbearable it would later be for me
somedays i really wish i was born without any self+awareness
i always see people that are way too hard on themselves
i see so much self+hatred, when i meet new people, i’m overwhelmed
i never really feel that i’m parallel to anyone else
but i always feel compеlled to help other pеople excel
for someone who’s stubborn, i definitely put my neck out for others
i don’t have many ride or dies, but for them, i got them covered
they’ve put up with my bullsh+t, no matter how ridiculous
being ubiquitous helped me find my people, serendipitous
i used to be around people who’d give me sh+t for being listlessness
but i’m not a f+cking workaholic, for my pace please show some diligence
don’t ever take me back to the time where i legitimately thought i had levels to clumb
and for f+cking what? i’m just a hazy little artist, i always have been
i’m glad to see the people who used to f+ck with me are has+beens
but i didn’t like when they tried to crown me as the d+ckhead kingpin
their poor reputations, they think they’re ruined, but they’re nonexistent
“get a life” they tell me, how bout you learn about some friendship
none of yall could keep any of that sh+t up cuz you’re pretentious
full of tension, low reception, always offended, pretty senseless

[chorus]
i never wanna be the best
please don’t mess this up for me
but sometimes proving the doubters wrong does sound pretty good to me
the first man on the moon
because the rest were gone too soon
some days i’m still scared, but i don’t think anything will change me
[verse 2]
alright, after acting kinda pompous, let’s discuss my problems
i’m way too stubborn, arrogant, sometimes i’m pretty thoughtless
i balance people’s attention like a clown that’s going jobless
i always complain about feeling left out
when i don’t see how much i’m involved with sh+t i could do without
i have issues juggling my meaning of having fun
can’t tell if i wanna be in bed or out f+cking about in the sun
my first relationship ended out of me being bored
but sh+t, how was she supposed to know that’s what i was feeling toward
a high school relationship, something i didn’t expect
i thought a freak like me would get the traditional reject
after all, i can’t recall having any friends then that would reflect
on their time with me, so her time with me was rewarding
we’d bond over negativity, which kinda sounds daunting
i didn’t know if showing her my best friends would be disconcerting
but i couldn’t try anyways, to her that wasn’t engrossing
i felt i had to get out, it wasn’t all that bad
but when she wants to do nothing, it feels like your dating a sandbag
i felt pretty bad, i had never necessarily dumped anybody
if someone p+ssed me off, i could forgive them easy
but romantic feelings aren’t the same
if something’s not perfect, it feels like a waste of time
i’m not wasting now, but i wish go back and fix that old blemish with a shoe shine

- sickly sid lyrics

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