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silverpram - gloves lyrics

[intro]
hey, stewardess, can you bring me some more beers, and some nuts and stuff?
oh yeah, can you bring me some vomit bags as well?

[verse 1]
(tourist)
a great big airport, a special day
my first trip to the usa
new york or frisco, hah! not my cup of tea
i thought i’d check out southern hospitality!

(cop)
passport and visa, i welcome you
but there’s just one more thing i gotta do
we check for contraband, quarantined wildlife and such
all for a customs inspection service, with a special touch
this here’s my partner, elmer gooth (howdy)
and if you’ll just accompany us into this private booth
we’re searching for the bare facts
so opеn up your suitcase… and drop your daks

(tourist)
oh… hang on, hang on, what are you doing with those things?
thеre’s no need for this!

[chorus]
ain’t gloves, ain’t gloves, ain’t gloves a surprise?
ain’t gloves, ain’t gloves, ain’t gloves a surprise?
ain’t gloves, ain’t gloves, ain’t gloves a surprise?
as a matter of fact, they bring tears to my eyes!
[verse 2]
(tourist)
my bum is achin’, oh, my poor rear
that guy thought he was a hamster and i was bl++dy richard gere!
now to get the h+ll out of here in my rental car
i’ll visit the hotel, check into the bar
oh, no, oh what have i done?

(bass solo, spoken word interlude)
cop: pull your vehicle over to the side of the road, son!
tourist: you’re the one driving on the wrong side of the road, buddy! jesus christ!
c: you’re not from around here, are you?
t: well…
c: can you squea+ i mean, licence and registration, please? what’s this, a library card?
t: no, mate, that’s my licence! what did i do wrong, officer, what, what? my parents aren’t cousins! hah, get it, cousins, parents?
c: look, mr. shrimp on the barbie boy, we don’t appreciate no lip around here! step out of the vehicle! i think we’re gonna need to do us a bit of a… routine inspection!
t: what? you want me to empty me pockets, or open up the trunk, no problem!
c: you know, i had something a little more in depth in mind! assume the position!
t: wait a minute, what are you doin’?
c: i’m just doing my job, son!
t: oh, and what’s that job, captain?
c: to boldly go where no man has gone before!
t: i think you’re a bit late for that, mate!

[chorus]
(banjo solo, song speeds up)

[verse 3]
(back to regular speed)
(tourist)
you know, i’m starting to like this, actually!
hey, do blokes have a g+spot? ’cause i think you found it, mate!
hang on, what are you doing back there? that feels so good!
(cop)
what am i doing? i’ll tell you what i’m doing?

[bridge]
(cop)
i’m moving on up, moving on up
moving on up, nothing’s gonna stop me!
moving on up, moving on up
moving on up, nothing’s gonna stop me!

[outro]
(tourist)
so does this count as a first date? because you know, i don’t usually kiss, but, you know, i might make an exception!
i couldn’t get your phone number, could i, mate?
you don’t have any gaffa tape with you, do you?
oh do you?

- silverpram lyrics

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