singular chainz - fuck lettuce remastered lyrics
f-ck lettuce remastered (extra tofu edition)
i pay my bills on time!
[prologue]
on top of the list of the things i hate is playing dominoes with kung fu panda
but not far down that list, right below the giraffe olympics
is vegans
and here’s why
[verse 1]
i’m sitting at restaurant eating a f-cking burger
there’s a fat -ss that’s mad, but he ain’t taking it further
food was so good i needed another order
chubby had a short fuse, and i was making it shorter
started chomping down, like “this burger’s the f-cking best”
should’ve kept my mouth shut, stirred up the h-rnet’s nest
man walked up to me just sweatin’ and seethin’
the moment i saw him, i knew it man, he was vegan
he started screaming, like a baby, still t–thing
“i’m so mad, stop hurting my hecking feelings”
this guy wasn’t worth my time so i acted quick
but i knocked his -ss out, ending the babies dumb-ss fit
[chorus]
don’t care if you’re an activist
acting like it matters, sh-t
shut the h-ll up
and listen to this f-cking track
it’s lit
cooking’s hard, it isn’t easy
make a calzone it’s too cheesy
so much cheddar makes me queasy
forgot im lactose intolerant
[bridge to second verse]
sh-t…
i might die…
gonna have to resp-wn…
aw heck…
[verse 2]
your f-cking dumb -sses wanna protect animals
it’s not just meat, animals eat
but they’re also cannibals
they protect themselves from meat in their vicinity
kind of ironic cause they’ll never lose their virginity
can’t find a shred of me that wants ‘em alive
send them to die
in a war that’s a lie
just tell ‘em goodbye
the world’ll be fine
i need some more lines
think of new rhymes
limes, times, dimes
crimes, chimes, mimes
gavin mother f-cking seims
you might call me evil
say my arguments feeble
haven’t you been har-ssed
by some vegan’s r-t-rded -ss?
their brain functions are slow, while ours are fast
vegans won’t last
they’ll be a thing of the past
[chorus]
don’t care if you’re an activist
acting like it matters, sh-t
shut the h-ll up
and listen to this f-cking track
it’s lit
[a giraffe walks into the recording studio]
what the f-ck is that thing doing in here
[cam jam enters]
f-ck lettuce b-tch!
[singular chainz and cam jam beat the sh-t out of a giraffe for 40 seconds straight]
[chorus]
don’t care if you’re an activist
acting like it matters, sh-t
shut the h-ll up
and listen to this f-cking track
it’s lit!
[end]
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