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size 14 - mrs. claus lyrics

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i didn’t mean to do it, she was looking so d-mn fine
we were just talking, it must have been your wine
cos then we started kissing
i put my hand right up her dress
i laid her under the mistletoe
you can figure out the rest!

and if you’re wondering
why there ain’t no presents in my neighbourhood
it’s cos i f-cked mrs. claus, and i f-cked her good!

a couple days later, i got a message on the phone
saying “come on over, cos santa isn’t home”
so i drove up to the north pole
ahe was looking like a dream
i put her up on the kitchen counter
i gave her my size 14!

and now santa’s p-ssed
but you know i wouldn’t change it if i could
cos i f-cked mrs. claus, and i f-cked her good!

one night it got a little crazy
we did it right in front of the elves
they were singing “santa claus is coming to town”
but i was coming in something else!

if you’re wondering why that bloated b-st-rd
never comes to hollywood…
i f-cked mrs. claus, whoa i f-cked mrs. claus
i f-cked mrs. claus, and i f-cked her good
i f-cked mrs. claus, and i f-cked her good
i f-cked mrs. claus… and i made her come!



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