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slash fiction - coming out lyrics

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another day of sinking t++th into my tongue
too scared to correct them
(i’d rather feel rejected than stand up to anyone)
another day of seeing my faults laid out
crystal clear in front of me
(pretend that i can’t see them, pretend i can’t hear the doubts)

spent my whole life coming out
spent my whole life feeling like
i don’t deserve any of this
feeling like i look like sh+t
and all the makeup in the world
can’t cover up for this

living life from week to week
seeing how much i can get away with
and wondering if i’m leaning
too hard on my friends
but still not telling thеm how bad it gets
living for weekends that i spend
doing nothing
imagining thе life i thought i’d lead

cut the skin expose the flesh
there’s only moments left
or the rest of my life
and who’s counting anyway?
a permanent reminder
of things i can barely remember
of bleeding in the kitchen
scratching names across my chest
of people i’ve never met

carve the shape of a ghost from stone
and say that it’s a body
i recognise as much as my own

- slash fiction lyrics

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