slaves of the feeling - one of the boys lyrics
[verse 1]
i broke up with my old+self and i found someone else to be
i used to suck at writing
now i use it as a coping mechanism
i’m still learning the ropes, try not to get my hopes up
i have a very low self+esteem
and a tendency of pretending ’til i believe
i’m not familiar with the feeling of reciprocity
i watched all my lovers leave just like my father did
[pre+chorus]
this must be what suffering for your art is
but if i’m not an artist, why do i have to hurt like this?
[chorus]
everything i love, i destroy
when i think too much, i f+ck things up
i don’t know how to livе with me
when it’s so close i can barеly touch
it gets out of hand, i wasn’t man enough
i’m not one of the boys and i will never be
[verse 2]
comparing myself to others, i have a lot of shoes to fill
i wasn’t taught how to be tough and bottle everything i feel
i’m my mother’s child after all
i’ll chase you down until you call the cops
but i’m just running on a treadmill
[pre+chorus 2]
i guess this is what it feels to play by the book
but if i don’t know the rules, i’m always gonna lose
[chorus]
everything i want, i ruin
i waited too long ’cause i am stupid
and now everyone is f+cking through with it
when it’s so close that i can touch
it gets out of hand, i wasn’t man enough
i’m not one of the boys and i will never be
[bridge]
i got canceled for being more than they could handle
he left me in the friend zone
i dyed my hair blonde and wrote a revenge song
and maybe i am mental but at least i don’t pretend
or try to blend in by doing what they want
keep the old me close as enemies
i have changed, but not completely
i’m doing my best to convince them but i’m so inconsistent
i am gonna get caught
[chorus]
everything i was, i destroyed
and in my head, now there’s a void
’cause i still don’t know how to live with me
it was so close i could almost touch it
but things got out of hand, long short story
i wasn’t one of them and i would never be
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