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sleaford mods - armitage shanks lyrics

[no i have no ambition to continue on in that field
but i couldn’t care less
i just get off what i do
and i do it very well
thank you, i know
this is why i’m not tolerated
i can’t be bothered to tell a lie
there has been something as revolutionary as the s-x pistols: the ongoing force of me
and this is something you cannot forget]

toilet, toilet

i was w-nking her off the other day
and she’s pulling a really strange face
these things happen in situations like this, so i carried on
made her c-m all over the place
then she tells me, that she was imagining me to be a complete stranger
well thanks a f-cking lot, nice one, lovely
next time then darling
i’ll tip up to yours, wearing a mask and postmans uniform
leave the door unlocked
just bend over
and i’ll shove it up your -rs-
throw a few letters on the floor
just for added effect
bob’s your uncle, theres your random s-x
seven knackered fridges dumped on a piece of wasteland
next to a house thats burning bridges, with all its neighbours
twenty-five kids sharing two rooms, asda smart price
the bus stop’s a youth club
soveriegn cigarettes and mushrooms

well what are you saying bro?
would you like a drink? i’ll go!
i hear you’re the toast of the town
can i kiss your -rs-hole?
you don’t tell my bird you wanna f-ck her
you f-cking leave it michael
you don’t say nothing
s-xual encounters like that take a while
shes gotta get her head round the fact that you’re a fat b-st-rd with ginger hair
that’s no offence to people with ginger hair
but i wouldn’t want it
i’m sick of being talked down to
by desperate blokes in maharishi smoke pants
that sh-t went down in scaramanga
we salute you!

well what are you saying bro?
would you like a drink? i’ll go!
i hear you’re the toast of the town
can i kiss your -rs-hole?
another do
i’ve been invited to that many do’s over the last six months
by people who didn’t want to know me eight months ago
makes you sick
i wouldn’t mind
but 98% of the music in this city is f-cking sh-t
armitage shanks, a toilet f-cking culture
and if you’re not getting your -rs- sh-gged
then you’re the phanton bummer
you’ve heard it all before
you’re gonna hear it all again
well what do you think i’m gonna sing about
my endless love?
you f-cking freak

i’d rather die in the gutter darling forget about it
what d’you do man?
when you’re on your last legs
and you ain’t got a plan
your sheets are all covered in blood stains
bruises on your thighs
sh-gging the right bird
your beds surrounded by beer cans
and empty chisel bags
knangled by your t–th trying to get at the f-cking rock that’s melting underneath
i’m a vampire
i’ve got homemade fangs
i make shane macgowan look like cross between joe collins and karl lagerfield
with his fan
messy f-cker, messy f-cker
that stained your life
it’s upstated mine
i’ve got oil on my ladder
it’s on there all the time

{what about wayne fontana? he did it..}

living off your wits is just a toilet seat

- sleaford mods lyrics

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