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slonk - holidays lyrics

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innumerable future selves lean to form an audience, keen to hear the result
they’ll wait for hours to be betrayed –restless
too scared to blink or speak at all
i fumble everything for a home crowd – stuck in their thick berating din
if they could speak they’d help me out:
tell me what i’m supposed to do and think

you’re a barricade of charisma; i don’t know how to talk to you
you’re a catapulted whisper splattering on flags of truce
i have allegiances to characters i am now too old to be
i spend the bulk of my free time pining, wishing & worrying

it feels a lot like:
– getting back from a holiday you liked;
– reluctant small talk with a friend you were once much closer with;
– reluctant small talk with a colleague you feel you know too much about

it’s not ideal. it’s only fine
it’s not how you feel but it’s all that you are, boy

it’s a lot like:
– waking up, when you’d rather be asleep;
– having things to think about when you’d rather sleep, to dream

it’s alarming we’re so calm
as we erode to lesser forms
far from ideal – we’ll say “it’s fine!”
it’s not how we feel it’s just all that we are now



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