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sloppy seconds - blackmail lyrics

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well, your father’s in bermuda
and the milkman’s overjoyed
your maid is into bondage
and i’ve got polaroids

and i was on the corner
when you wrecked your mother’s porsche
but why should i inform her
about your poor misfortune?

’cause everyone has secrets
but sometimes you get caught
so if it’s just between us
my silence can be bought
blackmail . . . blackmail

i was looking through your closet
when i found your water bong
your stash of turkish hash
and a twelve-inch rubber dong

and i won’t tell your family
about your last abortion
so you can call it “bribery”
but i prefer “extortion”

well, my counselor is a dealer
and the football coach is queer
the school nurse and the dean of boys
are having an affair

and someone shot the rent-a-cop
and i’m the only witness
but i won’t tell you who it was
’cause it’s none of your business

- sloppy seconds lyrics

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