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smart alec - i suck at picking up women lyrics

a player is not exactly the word to use
i’m in the game.—i just usually loose
i can’t afford restaurant meals for chicks
‘ that’s why i primarily date ‘ anorexics
my ex was obese, ‘ sorry to disappoint
cops kept her at a dui checkpoint
no breathalyzer. ‘ no walking a line
you’re drunk driving if you think that broad’s fine
i’m sorry i offered to blow her
i just have low standards, ‘ i’m sober!
i lack game, ‘ not sure what i’m missing
i couldn’t even get raped in prison
my lonely tears drew puddles
i roofied a prost-tute just to cuddle
got a vasectomy, doctor says a waste
you already got birth control, your face
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chorus
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i hung outside confessional booth
where naughty girls tell the truth
i thought catholic youths ‘ are sl-ts at least
but the only one to hit me was the priest
gave a girl flowers to nail her
she’s allergic, only blew the inhaler
the things i say can be sick
the best bl-wj-bs are from bulimics
no gag reflex would ever follow
but bulimic sk-nks. they never swallow
about to c-m, i can’t eject
ipod mode, don’t disconnect
set my gps to find a wife
it’s been rerouting my whole life
a rapping jew? i’m not disabled
my people own the record label!
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i went to a feminist rally to date chicks
but it was just f-cking lesbians that hated d-cks
offered the radical feminist leader a l!ck
she said “only if i bang you with d-ld- stick.”
that’s sick, don’t be so quick
let me explain why i’m your pick
yo, i’m not trying to be a pr-ck
but you’d let me say the n word if you saw my d-ck
no trick, for a jew it’s nice
rabbi had to circ-mcised me twice
(nightcrawler) i’ve seen it. please
(nightcrawler) this dude could be chinese
i went out with a girl for a martini
i went to the bathroom, saw some graffiti
call for a good time on the urinal cup
i dialed the number. my f-cking date picked up!

- smart alec lyrics

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