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smashy claw - pirate lyrics

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i am a third+generation pirate
dad and gramps, that’s what they thought i’d be
but i’ve been on this boat so long
and the older i get i know it’s not the gig for me

now i know why i don’t fit in
looking at the scoundrels all around me
my chiseled face and perfect skin
stand out in this sea of ugly

i am a gorgeous pirate
the only treasure here is my eyes
this job of robbery, i don’t desire it
the dutchmen wishes he looked so fly

the open sea’s not meant for the rеally handsome
case in point: those tacky woodеn legs
your fashion sense is with davey jones, that patch is gross
i volunteer to go walk the plank

parrots suck, can we get a dog?
avast ye lads, those legs need waxing
sagging pants will earn you a flog
no one wants to see your kraken

i am a stunning pirate
what dumb blind dude taught you to groom?
this will for pillaging, i don’t admire it
take some tips from orlando bloom
i am a dashing pirate
the tricorn’s so 1662
this l+st for plundering, i say retire it
i bet a mirror would change roger’s mood



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