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smoke skreezy - rainy nights lyrics

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rainy nights thinkin bout this life
wondering, am i wasting time or am i doin right?
to this day still think of suicide..
then i think of all the people that would lose if i choose to die..
so i can’t do it
and i know there ain’t no future in this pack moving
so, all i have is this rap music
deep down i’m really thinking
“man that’s stupid
the f+ck you doing?”
guess this life is just give, take
trying to hold it all together til ya big break
on this road i followed made so many mistakes
and missteps
tryna find the shortcuts, to get the big checks
never thinkin of longevity
when i was seventeen didn’t think i’d live to see twenty three..
and everything that’s happened ever since
got m3 pondering, should i go hit the alter and, maybe genuflect?
say some prayers, maybe say amen?
hit some old friends up, maybe make amends?
shiiit
voices in my head like “f+ck that!
they f+cked you over, now they’ll never get that trust back
trust that!
had my thoughts deranged…
like, are they even ya real friends if they don’t cause you pain?
do she even love you if she doesn’t f+ck you over
hug you close, and
run that game
talkin how she’s gonna change?
you take her back and she does the same
p+wn that ring that you got her, in exchange for a little change.
only so much the heart takes before the heart break
now you walkin around numb like you was scarface
doin lines, wishing you could believe the lies
wantin to go back to when everything was fine
you realize sh+t was never what it seemed
all that happiness you thought you had was just a dream
ain’t no nightmare, homie, but life is not fair
all these people deceive you, they blowin hot airrrr
why i keep my distance, be consistent
see the vision, do my best to reach my peak condition
i mean i’ve given my life to spittin these lines
and spent way too many nights
committing the crimes for nickles and dimes
wishing somethin would just give me a sign
that im not wasting my time
i wanna live til i die, ya feel me?
spent way too long finding the real me
to let these m+th+f+ckas k!ll me
i’m riding filthy in pursuit of getting clean
not as easy as it seems…
especially when ya life hanging by a string…
on a wing and a dream, i had low self esteem.
getting paper by the ream
trying to make a stream..
ain’t no maybelline, dont make up sh+t
just thankful for this life i get to wake up wit, i mean
i went from not even mentioned…
to muf+ckas duckin me like a call from collections
i used to want the attention until i saw what it meant
a bunch a hatin m+th+f+ckas always all in ya sh+t
and they be plotting a l!ck
cuz they dont got what you get
so by the time you hear this sh+t i might be gone wit the wind…d+mn…
yeah they be plotting a l!ck, cuz they don’t got what you get
i might be gone with the wind, sh+t



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